Potato PotAto

I’ve always enjoyed baked potatoes. Now, I don’t just have your standard baked potato, though – I make a meal out of it! This is a perfect meatless meal (if you take off the bacon). It’s so versatile – you can add just about anything to this. I’m not including nutrition facts because there are so many things you could add and there may be some things you want to take off of mine. Be creative! When I make these, I will make a couple of extras to take to work during the week. I would so much rather take something like this than something prepackaged or canned.

I use Yukon Gold potatoes and wash them really well. While they’re still wet, I put a little coarse sea salt on the outside. Make sure to pierce them with a knife or fork so they don’t explode in the oven.  Is there anything worse than cleaning the oven? I think it’s even worse than the bathroom because you have to be a contortionist to get every nook and cranny in there. What was I saying now? Oh, yes, the potatoes – bake them at 350 degrees for about an hour.

This is what’s on the potato in the picture:

• 1 tbsp butter
• 1 tbsp sour cream
• 1 oz grated sharp cheddar cheese
• 7 g real bacon bits

In the past, I’ve also added things like peas and broccoli. Whatever you choose to add, this is a great, satisfying meal that fills you up for a long time. Besides that, the flavor is amazing. You can’t ask for more than that! Enjoy!

Create Your Own Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

I used to love to walk…if it was between 68-72 degrees with no wind and no rain. That came out to about 10 days a year. It wasn’t a very effective exercise program. If I did anything else – treadmill, elliptical, exercise bike – I would talk to myself about how much I hated it. I was completely self-defeating. If you tell yourself you hate something enough times, you will eventually truly hate it and quit doing it. Another way I would sabotage myself is to pretend I was eighteen again and exercise for an hour after years of being sedentary. I’d be so sore for days – too sore to exercise for sure!

I wish I could tell you that you never have to exercise: that you just have to take a magic pill and it will have all the beneficial effects of exercise on your skeletal system, your pulmonary system, your cardiovascular system, your skin, your hair, and your BRAIN. That sentence alone should clinch it for you. That should turn on the “lightbulb.” The fact that exercise affects ALL of those things in a dramatic way is what should move us all.

Sure, there are pills you can take to lose weight. You can have one of the weight-loss surgeries. You can eat only cabbage soup or grapefruit. You can do the South Beach Diet or the Mediterranean Diet or go Paleo. You can do Weight Watchers, Jennie Craig, Nutrisystem or the HCG diet. Any of them, if you stick to them, will help you lose weight. But, losing weight doesn’t fix everything.

You need strength to endure the effects of aging, to have good balance, to maintain your emotional well-being and to keep that weight off. You need it to avoid cardiovascular disease and to build muscles to support your bones and joints. You need some good weight-bearing activity to prevent osteoporosis. All of this is a pretty big deal. So you have to. You have to do something.

One of the things I do now is repeat in my head (even if I happen to think I’m dying), things like:

• “You’re doing a great job!”
• “You’re getting so strong.”
• "This is a priority for me.”
• “I’m so glad I’m doing this.”
• “I enjoy the feeling of my muscles working hard.”

This way, there’s less of a chance my mind is going to find ways to get out of a work-out. I truly do enjoy it. I enjoy it mostly when it’s done. But, I enjoy it. I scarcely miss a day because it is so vital to the way I look and feel.

Since I do it every day, I work-out for 30 minutes and nothing more. I work really hard in those 30 minutes – improving something every day. And then I’m done. Until tomorrow. So, change the recording in your head – even if you have to lie a little. First, pick something you can at least tolerate doing (you don’t have to run), then, tell yourself you enjoy it. If you’re exercising outdoors, look around for things you’re grateful you were able to see while you were out there. Listen to some great music. Treat yourself to some new music downloads and make different playlists so you don’t get sick of the same old music.

Don’t let the old, worn-out recording of your own voice in your head (saying how much you hate exercise) derail your best efforts. Allow your subconscious to be on your team and rather than what you’ve done in the past, this time, create the self-fulfilling prophecy you intend.

Midnight Run - Omaha. October 2012 freezing my tukus...

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

• “This is a blueberry Poptart. It’s a fruit.”
• “I don’t have time to keep track of the food I eat.”
• “I don’t know how to eat healthy.”
• “I’ll start my diet tomorrow.”
• “I have a slow metabolism.” 

Would you trust a friend who lied to you? I wouldn’t either. Yet we lie to ourselves all the time. We tell ourselves we’re eating a serving – but we slowly and insidiously increase that amount. I can’t think of an actual restaurant that serves one serving of any food. The portions in restaurants are huge. If you’re cleaning your plate at a restaurant, you’re eating too much. Isn’t that sad? Couldn’t restaurants save money by making their portions at least a little smaller? Must be they couldn’t, otherwise they would.

How many calories do you eat every day? Could you venture a guess? I couldn’t when I started this. For the first few days, just as a matter of awareness, maybe, Tony and his team at the F.A.S.T. Diet have you keep track of your calories without restricting them at all. THAT was an eye opener. Not in a good way.

There are so many calories in things you wouldn’t suspect – sesame oil – 1 tbsp is about 200 calories. That’s crazy! Don’t get me started on the coffees I used to get - VENTI. Now, on the rare occasion I do get them, I get a tall. Then I usually regret it because the milk gives me a stomach ache and I just wasted a bunch of calories I could’ve used to actually chew something.

If you want to focus on losing weight and you’re the least bit like me, you’re going to need some help. They’re not paying me for free advertising but I believe in these people. They have a program that’s based on common sense and accountability – they’ve been called “weight-watchers without the wiggle room.” It doesn’t matter what state you’re in – you can do it if you have a computer and/or a cell phone. You can do it for the price of Weight Watchers, which you will probably save (and then some) by cutting out most of the fast food you’re eating right now. If you want to try it, or just ask some questions, this is the website: F.A.S.T. Diet.

Some people can do it on there own. Whether you can or not, I highly recommend a book like this: Diet Minder at Amazon. It’s a log of what you eat every day, the exercise you do and the water you drink. They’re about $5 cheaper at Amazon than anywhere else (Amazon isn’t paying me either!). You can use an app or do it online at places like My Fitness Pal or Choose My Plate but that doesn’t make you remember the calories of the foods you eat the most – which is, I think, vital to your success. Most of all, it’s vital to get on the path of telling yourself the truth every day. The truth isn’t always easy or fun, but it’s the only way to get what you really want. 

Burrito Pie

I have said before that eating hearty, flavorful food makes it easier to be satisfied with fewer calories. This is another one of those instances. This burrito pie is SO good. It’s filled with fiber in the form of tortillas and refried beans. It’s spicy and warm and one of my new favorite meals.

I love burritos and enchiladas but I don’t want to take the time to build them for the entire family. This and the enchilada casserole on this site are great (and quick) alternatives. I used mild rotelle and mild salsa in this but you could make it whatever level of heat you and your family prefer.

I didn’t save enough calories for sour cream tonight. Next time I will make a point of it. That’s going to take this up a notch! Make sure you allow this to cool for about 15 minutes. You know how refried beans can be nuclear hot? That’s how they are in this right out of the oven. Plus, it just sets up better if you give it time.

In the summer, I like recipes where I can cut up a bunch of produce. I love that fresh burst of flavor. In the winter, I’m fine with recipes like this or chili. The ingredients are soft and warm and meld together perfectly. Next time I’m thinking of using the pulled taco chicken Alex loves so much. If you like burritos, give this a try – you’ll love it.

Burrito Pie

2 lbs ground beef

1 onion, chopped

2 tsp garlic, minced

1 (2 oz) can black olives, sliced

1 (10 oz) can rotelle

2 cans refried beans

16 oz jar salsa (I use Newman’s Own, mild)

12 white corn tortillas

8 oz sharp cheddar cheese shredded

Brown ground beef with onion and garlic (salt and pepper to taste). When browned add: black olives, rotelle, beans, and salsa. Stir together and simmer for 5-10 minutes.

Spray a 4 quart casserole with cooking spray. Place one layer of meat mixture on the bottom, top with a layer of cheese and a layer of tortillas. Repeat until layers are complete. End with meat mixture and cheese on the top.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Allow to cool for 15 minutes. Enjoy!

Nutrition facts for 303.4 grams:

• Calories: 379
• Fat: 16.7
• Carbs: 25.7
• Fiber: 9.2
• Protein: 23.7

On Silence and Solitude

“Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe.” - Susan Cain

I like to be at home. I thoroughly enjoy the time I spend with friends and family – it fills me up in an entirely different way. I need that, too. But, when I’ve had too many days in a row around people, I crave silence and solitude. I’m no hermit, but I’m not one to seek out places to go much. Silence and solitude rejuvenate me like nothing else can. It gives me perspective when I think everything is going so terribly wrong or I’m just a little off balance. At home - spring, summer and fall – I can’t wait to get my hands in the dirt of my gardens. When I go on vacation, I like to be gone no longer than 4 or 5 days. After that, I get a little antsy for want of home. Maybe it’s because of the chaos in the place I’ve chosen to work. Maybe it’s because I’ve raised two boys who constantly had the entire neighborhood at our house – I need a Calgon moment! Maybe it’s just how I’m built. My Dad is very much the same way.

In contrast, my sister Kristi has something scheduled almost every day of the week. She’s been that way ever since I can remember – the center of a whirlwind of activity – loving every minute of it. She and her family are always on the run. They are social butterflies who know almost everyone in their neighborhood and have parties or nights out with them regularly. They have kids in sports with out-of-town tournaments that fill entire week-ends. She goes on overnight, intense scrap booking week-ends with a bunch of friends at a lake cabin. She travels for work and as part of her duties as volunteer president of Emergency Management for the state of Minnesota. She (and now her daughter) love to shop when they do find a spare moment.

In stark contrast, my friend Sheri’s greatest dream is to travel the world untethered. She also travels (a lot) for work. She’s got some gypsy in her blood. She asks me things like, “Do you want to hike hundreds of miles across Europe and stay in hostels?” (Camino de Santiago trail) Initially, when she would come up with these questions – my first thought would be, “She’s gone stark-raving mad!” The fact is, she’s gone through a dramatic transformation based on a healthy diet, running, and the philosophy that we have this one life to live, as well. We’re both in our 40’s but she’s in such a different stage of her life than me with all of her children grown. Her adventuresome spirit can fly a little more than mine. Not that mine would fly that much or that far. She would work for National Geographic. She would go to the remote corners of the earth with all the inconveniences therein (she was just in Belize) and be happier than if she were in her office or at home.

I have spent a good part of my life wishing I was more like these two – more adventuresome and exciting – more social. Now, I’m just okay settling into who I am. I will still live vicariously through these two, participate in some of their adventures, and have some of my own. If you’re looking for me in my time off, though, you can probably find me at home enjoying my solitude.


                                           

A Tasty Sidebar

This isn’t my typical post about diet, exercise, inspiration or life. Unless you consider that I purposefully make these with regular wheat flour because my family can eat gluten – it’s just me who can’t. I create my own roadblock to devouring these!

The plan for these started last night when Allison said she wanted to make cupcakes today. She wanted vanilla cupcakes. What? Who doesn’t want chocolate cupcakes given the opportunity? Allison. I didn’t have a white cake mix. I didn’t have frosting. I didn’t have powdered sugar for homemade frosting. My plan had been to stay home this week-end – at least Friday and Saturday – get some stuff done, decompress. Besides, I’m attempting to be more frugal and what are the chances that I would go to the store and pick up just what I needed for these cupcakes?

After she was in bed, I searched online for a vanilla cake recipe and found one that’s as easy as any cake mix – but tastes better, I’m told. A good dense cake – not airy and plain. And for frosting without powdered sugar in it. This is where you can find them:

Simple White Cake

No-cook Icing

This is what Allison wrote in the notebook she calls her “blog:”

            Today me and Mom will bake homemade cupcakes. Have you

done this before? Well, you need a fantastic mother who is great

at cooking to help you. To get started, ask your Mom or Dad to

help with the recipe. Wait for them to get the ingredients. They will

taste good when you’re all done.

These recipes are both wonderful. I didn’t want the frosting to just taste like sugar. So, I boiled one cup of water with a handful of dried berries. I always have them in the house to eat with my oatmeal. I strained it when I was done and just used the half cup of that water rather than the plain water the recipe calls for. I did take a taste of that and it was very flavorful.

The one thing about the frosting is it mentions in the directions to use a stand mixer. This is a great idea unless you possess super-herculean upper-body strength, which I clearly do not. The hand mixer was already dirty from mixing the cake – how long could it take for soft peaks to form anyway? Uh…30 minutes! I was singing Devo's "Whip it" in my head because I'm adept at  entertaining myself in any given situation. Put this in a stand mixer and go about your day – do a load of laundry, read a book, talk amongst yourselves…then come back to it.

I love the picture of this cake on the website above. There are really so many things you could do with this frosting – adding actual fruit you’ve put through the food processor or chocolate if you want me to run right on over. It’s very pretty. I quit mixing a bit before the soft peaks formed, but it worked out perfectly because our frosting looks kind of like the snow on the rooftops right now.

A Soft Place to Land

“Take responsibility for the energy you bring.” 

― Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey

This quote comes from the above book written by a brain scientist who had a stroke. She speaks of how she could feel the energy of the staff at the hospital as they entered the room before they even said a word. You’ve felt that energy from people, right? Me too.

One of the things I value most in my life is having a soft place to land. The world can be brutal sometimes. Often times, really. Just watching the news can have me running for cover on any given day. That’s why I try not to, I guess. Working and dealing with the public can have its own challenges.

My soft place to land is my home. I know if I just get through the day, when I close that door at home, everything will be better. I have a husband, four children, two dogs and a cat. I’m not saying it’s calm. But, it’s our home. It’s what we’ve made it. It’s built on trust, love, and mutual respect. It’s a good place to be.

The barrier I had to get past to do my part in accomplishing this was to focus on myself. I always want other people to be the ones to change. After all, what could be wrong with ME? What, possibly, would I need to change? Keith Ellis in his book The Magic Lamp: Goal Setting for People Who Hate Setting Goals writes: “You can’t wish for someone else to make you happy, because you can’t make that happen. But you can wish to spend more of your time doing the things that make you happy. If you wish only for what you can control, then success will always be in your hands.”

When issues arise, we have practiced – over the years – addressing them right away. We didn’t used to. We weren’t very good at this in the early years. We spoke to one another in harsh tones. Criticism was common – in both of us. Then we started paying attention to how our voices sounded to one another. There are times when I thought, about the words coming out of my own mouth, “I would be SO mad if someone spoke to me like that.”  We have become more responsive to one another. More responsible for the energy we bring.

I remember when my home wasn’t a soft place to land. It was heartbreaking to live without that kind of refuge. I remember coming home from a 3-11pm shift in critical care and sitting in my mini-van outside the home I shared with my first husband. I wasn’t physically abused. I had nothing to fear, no reason not to go in. But, things were most definitely not right, not comfortable, not nurturing nor loving anymore. I just didn’t want to go into the energy of that place.

One of the things I’m most grateful for is the home we’ve built together – not the physical home, though I’m grateful for that, too. I’m most grateful for the emotional home we’ve been able to build. It takes work, time and attention but it’s a vital step in building the life you choose. 

A little Faith goes a long way...

Shepherd's Pie

I haven’t had this for at least two years. That’s how long I’ve been watching what I eat – counting calories. This is an example of how people create imaginary barriers. I didn’t want to figure out how many calories were in it. It’s made in a casserole dish, so it can’t be cut equally, like lasagna. All of the ingredients needed to be added, then divided. The casserole dish needed to be weighed alone and then again when the dish was complete. See? It can be exhausting…that 20 minutes…that ONE time it needs to be done. The thing is I’ve wasted 20 minutes every day for the last two years doing other, less productive things. I could’ve been doing this; enjoying this.

My Mom used to make this and used tomato soup in the hamburger mixture. Unfortunately, Campbell’s Tomato Soup has wheat flour in it. Why? I have no idea. It just does and it makes me cranky if I talk about it. So, I’ve had to improvise on some recipes. There’s a gluten-free cream of mushroom soup but not your standard tomato soup. In this Shepherd’s Pie, I use one cup of tomato sauce and one half cup of Amy’s Tomato Bisque – which is gluten free. The bisque on its own is a little too sweet but it softens the harshness of the tomato sauce perfectly if you use just half a cup. If you don’t have to worry about being gluten free you can use a can of Campbell’s Tomato Soup instead of the sauce and bisque in this recipe. Or if you are gluten free but have access to a good canned tomato soup, by all means, use that.

This is the perfect thing to have on this wintry, stormy long week-end in Nebraska. The snow is flying with visibility less that a quarter of a mile. We’re expecting to get 7-10 inches of snow. We are grateful to be warm and safe in our home. We have groceries to last for days. We have everything we need right here. And we’ve been fed with this warm, hearty casserole. Now you can, too, and I’ve saved you 20 minutes of your life!

Shepherd’s Pie

4 cups of potatoes, cubed and boiled.

When ready to mash, add:

¼ cup milk

2 tbsp butter

Mash well.

While the potatoes are boiling:

1 lb hamburger

¼ of an onion

A little garlic

Salt and pepper to taste

Throw this all in a pan and brown the hamburger.

Then, mix in:

1 cup tomato sauce

½ cup Amy’s Tomato Bisque

1 can cut green beans

Place in a greased 2 quart casserole. Top with mashed potatoes and top that with:

6 slices Velveeta cheese

Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes before eating.

Nutrition facts for 308.5 g (1/6 of the casserole):

• Calories: 310.3
• Fat: 12.5
• Carbs: 23.7
• Fiber: 2.8
• Protein: 24.4

Rocky Mountain High

This is day four:

• Day four of eating within my calorie range
• Day four of consistent exercise
• Day four of at least 8 hours of sleep

I forget that this is what balance feels like when it’s been awhile since I’ve been at 100%. There’s no mental fog. This feels good. I have more mental clarity at work than I’ve had in months. I’ve been so productive! There are other benefits, too, but this is one of my favorites.

In our country in 2012, two-thirds of our population was overweight or obese. That’s a lot of people walking around in a mental fog. Maybe they don’t know it’s a fog because they’ve never been out of it. Or it’s been so long since they’ve had this clarity, they don’t remember it. I had a hard time remembering the feel of it after just a few short months.

The map below is always interesting to me. The corresponding article said overweight and obesity are concentrated in the south and the Midwest. I always get a little ruffled about that. I consider Nebraska the Midwest rather than the Northern Plains. The Midwest they’re referring to includes Ohio, W. Virginia, Kentucky, Missouri and Michigan. I can just calm down. However, Nebraska isn’t doing a whole lot better - ranked 21.

How do we hit Colorado’s rate? Congratulations, you’re ranked 51! You’re the thinnest people in the country! Do they all hike the mountains? Is it the altitude? What can they teach the people in Mississippi (ranked #1)? Or the rest of us? We have to look for some serious answers. If we don’t, we’re headed toward looking like real versions of the people in the cartoon movie Wall-e.

I’m using my grocery and restaurant (Chipotle, HuHot) budget to show companies what I’d like to see more of – fresh, real food with no hormones, antibiotics, or high-fructose corn syrup and as few preservatives as possible. It’s a start. There’s a long way to go. We have to change a culture focused on volume to one focused on quality; a culture that looks to food as entertainment rather than fuel. Or…we could just move to Colorado…

Frito Chili Pie

I enjoy feeling like I’m eating something really hearty and flavorful. The taste of this chili makes me feel like it’s not as good for me as it is. Why wouldn’t I just want to eat things that are good for me? Don’t ask. It’s complicated. And I’m apparently a little freakish. All you have to know is this chili is fantastic.

The original recipe is from the Pioneer Woman. I have loved every recipe I’ve made from her website. I altered this one a little so it would have more fiber – otherwise the taste and texture are exactly the same. We love it!

We watch her show on Food Network on Saturday mornings, too. Allison has said, “I wish I was in their family.” Who doesn’t? Their family includes: horses, a ranch, a huge lodge with a huge, beautiful kitchen that she cooks amazing food in, a fun Mom and cuter than cute Dad, four kids and various dogs and cats. The last time we watched it, it was focused more on the food. About 2/3 of the way through the show Allison asked, “I wonder what’s going on with Ladd and the kids?” like we know them. We feel like we do!

I read her blog – not just for the recipes but for her humor. I’ve posted this story that she writes about doughnuts a couple of times on Facebook. It makes me laugh just thinking about it and I’ve read it so many times already! I may have to read it again. She writes it so well, you feel like you’re in that convenience store with her. Empathy will pour from you…she’s THAT good.

Back to the chili - Pioneer Woman talks about this being a great tailgating meal. I like it all Fall and Winter. It’s so warm and satisfying. That seems to be a theme with my recipes thus far – I do like to be warm!

You could skip the Frito’s and cheese and serve this with cornbread instead...I wouldn’t recommend it, though, because the Frito’s and cheese add such a heartiness to it. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t like this chili. Give it a try!

Frito Chili Pie

1 lb hamburger

2 15 oz cans tomato sauce

2 cans kidney beans

2 cans pinto beans

2 cans original Rotelle

¼ cup masa

½ cup water

½ tsp salt

1 tbsp cumin

2 tbsp chili powder

1 tsp ground oregano

3 cloves garlic, minced

Prepare the same as the Pioneer Woman’s instructions:

Brown ground chuck with garlic in a pot over medium-high heat. Add tomato sauce, Rotel, salt, oregano, cumin, and chili powder. Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 30 minutes.

Add drained and rinsed beans. Stir to combine, then cover and simmer for another 20 minutes.

Mix masa with water, then add to the chili. Stir to combine and simmer for a final 10 to 15 minutes. Set aside.

Serve by slicing the Frito bags open lengthwise. Pile in chili and cheese, and diced onion if using. Serve immediately with plastic forks. A crowd-pleaser!

Nutrition Facts for 1 cup of chili (does not include Frito’s or cheese): 

• Calories: 235
• Fat: 3.35
• Carbs: 33.2
• Fiber: 12
• Protein: 19.8 

I add one ounce of Frito’s and one ounce of cheese to it depending on how many calories I have left for the day. Enjoy!

Running with A.D.D.

It’s possible that I don’t have what would be considered A.D.D. today – but just a genetic propensity toward impatience and inattention. But I doubt it. I had A.D.D. (or some form of it) before it was a diagnosis. I still do. I did well in school despite it – probably because I went to a small school and had a good group of friends to keep up with academically. I have great parents who fed me well; made sure I was to bed on time, made me work and set a level of expectation for achievement. There were no medications. Even if there were, I don’t think anyone would’ve recommended I needed them.

I followed a career in nursing to the most rapidly changing, fastest paced environments: Critical Care and the Emergency Department. They fed my need for commotion and adrenaline. They still do. Those places need me to be able to rapid-fire toggle from one thing to the next. Being born with a brain that naturally does that has been invaluable.

When I’m not at work, though, it can be exhausting to have a mind that doesn’t slow down. It can cause anxiety, disorganization, and an inability to relax – to name a few. Throughout the years, I think I used food to calm my mind. Maybe more than I think.

The only thing, besides food, that’s made a noticeable improvement in this feeling that I have to be moving all the time – brain switching from one topic to the next – is running.  The half-marathon took just under three hours. I don’t do anything – sustained – for three hours. If I have to, it’s pretty uncomfortable for me. I work 8-12 hours but I’m in a place that is constantly morphing throughout that day. From day-to-day, there’s always something new and exciting – something I haven’t heard of before.

Running changes your brain. Those endorphins work some magic - even if it’s not distance running. When I run 2-2.5 miles, I still feel a calmness that permeates my entire day and rolls over to the next. This calmness allows me to attend to the task at hand and leave others alone – to have more patience with my family, friends, and patients…even strangers. But, distance running is where the real mind-work happens. When I tell myself, “You are going to be doing this for three hours, settle into it.” It’s a training that goes beyond the capability of my muscles and joints. It’s training that I can use in other areas of my life as well. After all of these years, I’m learning to calm myself without food.

This embodies the purpose of this blog for me: Mending Wendy. For all of us, who are so unique and varied, to live our best lives requires introspection and attention to our own bodies and minds. There is no recipe that works for everyone. We have to try different things and figure it out on our own – but when we do – it’s so worth it.  

The Next 100 Days

Everyone needs a really good best friend. I’ve been lucky that way. Yesterday, I was at an all-day conference for the F.A.S.T. Diet Program I’ve been doing over the last couple of years. The thing that’s so different about this than any other program is it’s designed to be like getting advice from your best friend…only better. Because I’m not talking about the “you look great and there’s nothing you ever have to do to improve!” compliments from someone who really doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m talking the down and dirty, nitty-gritty honest assessment and assistance you need to change your life. Honesty can sting sometimes but it’s invaluable in the quest to get what you want.

We came away from this conference inspired! We were not told that we got the way we are because of some outside influence we should blame. We were told that this is the way we are – this is the hand we were dealt. We are eaters – the lot of us. There’s no quick fix. We were told that we deserve everything we want in life IF we take personal responsibility and work really hard. What a concept!

There’s a segment of our population – an ever growing segment – that doesn’t want to hear anything about this. They want to blame their genetics, their disease, their busy-ness (I work full-time and have a family!), or they claim they just don’t care what they look (or apparently feel) like. I think these are people who haven’t felt well in so long, they’ve forgotten the feeling.

One of the speakers yesterday is a woman in her mid-thirties with Multiple Sclerosis who lost 164 lbs. Did you hear that? ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY-FOUR POUNDS: the weight of a robust-sized human. She runs 10 miles a day. She is vibrant and beautiful – one of those people you look at and say, “I want to look like THAT!” She’s a poster-child for what the F.A.S.T. Diet can do.

I am guilty of complacency – I have a case of the “good enoughs.” I feel good in my clothes. I’m stronger than I have been in all of my adult life. I just feel good – really good. But, I haven’t reached my goal yet. I haven’t finished this thing! And there I go again – talking as if there is an endpoint. That’s another thing we learned yesterday – there is no endpoint. This is for life – this struggle. There will always be some excuse for inattention to our health and well-being – we can use any circumstance to avoid being accountable. I’ve been reminded of this so many times – I feel like I need to tattoo it somewhere so it finally sticks. Tattoos probably don’t work that way.

So, my plan is to get to goal weight by Friday, October 4, 2013. I chose that day because my weigh-in day is Friday. That’s a nicely paced 1.5 lbs/week. In order to get this done I will need to follow all the rules of the program. My short-term goal is to do it perfectly for 100 days. I’m going to take the extra step of calling Tony, Ed or Charlotte (at the F.A.S.T. Diet) every day to ask a question. That’s one of the rules anyway – if you can’t follow the rules you have to ask a question. I’m going to ask a question about something every day regardless. I chose that because I tend to think that I’ve been doing this for 2 years, I should know this all already…but I obviously don’t, so I need to ask. I need to be in-my-own-face about this thing. I need to glean all the information I can from these people.

The longest I’ve done this flawlessly has been 50 days. Those 50 days passed just like any other 50-day period – but I felt and looked better and had a wonderful sense of accomplishment at the end of it. These next 8 months will pass so quickly – they always do. I wrote about mojo a week or so ago. Mojo or no mojo – I will do this for 100 days, then the next, and the next as flawlessly as humanly possible. I will reaffirm that choice on a daily or hourly basis if I have to. I will come back here and reread this to remind myself how inspired I was on this day. I will make sure I am putting myself first. I am ready for the challenge. What a perfect time – at the beginning of racing season! Who’s signing up with me?

I'm going to print this and cross off the days!

Bacon Connoisseurs

My kids don’t just love bacon. They are connoisseurs of bacon. Even the one who's a vegetarian says that's the only meat she misses. These people know what they like. Don’t get me wrong, they will eat any and all bacon. But they say things like, “Mom, you could take this stuff on the road” when I get it just right.

They don’t have a preference for the thickness of the cut. But it has to be cooked ‘just so.’ I don’t know if it was my mom or my sister who told me about cooking bacon in the oven. I think my sister did it and my mom told me about it and that’s why it’s all jumbled in my head. Anyway, you line a big cookie sheet with aluminum foil and line up the bacon. There doesn’t have to be any space between the slices because they quickly shrink while baking.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes depending on the thickness of your bacon. This is the real science…my kids like the bacon crispy. So crispy that when you hold it up, it doesn’t bend – but is not one bit burned. It’s a harried few minutes while you open the oven door to check it, put a few more minutes on the timer…check it again…repeat. It’s so worth it though.

It’s even more worth it because the research (if there was any) behind the low-fat fad has been proven wrong. High cholesterol in humans does not come from animal fat. It comes from how our livers convert carbohydrates into cholesterol. So, your pancake, waffle, toast and syrup will raise your cholesterol and triglycerides. Your bacon and eggs will not. It’s still 70 calories or so a slice, so you can’t go crazy with it but you can have it without worrying about it causing your impending heart attack and/or stroke! Did anyone else even worry about that?

Allison likes to dredge her bacon in maple syrup. She loves how it makes the boys and I wrinkle up our noses and exclaim “Ew! Gross!” However you enjoy your bacon – give this stuff in the oven a try. Make it as crispy as you can. You’ll love it! 

A picture you can smell...

Love the One You're With

Happy Valentine’s Day! I have friends all over the map when it comes to Valentine’s Day – everywhere from “it’s a holiday created by Hallmark” to “I LOVE Valentine’s Day!!!!” I’m somewhere toward the former but not all the way there.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a day to commemorate the ones we love, especially that one special Valentine. I do think there’s something wrong with people who have expectations of these people they supposedly love…to be something or do something that's unnatural to them.

My friend told me a story about his ex-wife today that is so revealing to him in retrospect. He was pressured into buying high-end jewelry EVERY Valentine’s Day. It would cause him stress “will she like it?” – “will this be good enough?” She would typically return any jewelry he bought her for an “upgrade” – usually something that cost $500 more than the original gift…that was then on his credit card. I know the pain he has endured through this divorce. It pains me more to know things like this that went on for the duration of their marriage. I’m sure there are many more painful things he keeps to himself.

My boss and I had a conversation on Valentine’s Day last year. He said he used to get his wife flowers every year and wait to see her exuberance. She was never exuberant. Flowers just aren’t a big deal to her. He said he read the book Love Languages by Gary Chapman a few years ago and it completely changed his perspective. He’s a wise man, so I think I purchased the book that very day (you probably should, too)! I will gift it to each of my children before they are married. It talks about knowing what “speaks” to that person you love – what tells them you love them…it may not be what you think.

It’s really about listening and observing the one you love – paying attention to what they respond to. Rich told me many years ago that a card I purchased at a store has much less meaning for him than something I write – even a short email. I didn’t listen at first and kept getting him cards and wondering why he wasn’t bowled over by the message! I know not to expect flowers from him on Valentine’s Day, my birthday, or any other day…except the day our daughter was born. 

He thinks they’re a waste of money and he’s probably right. He would rather I chose a place to go out to eat because he will eat anything and I have specifications, so he won’t surprise me with dinner out. If I want something electronic – a phone, camera or computer – he’s out the door on the way to buy it. It doesn’t matter what day it is. He values those things.

It’s hard enough to get through this life together without adding ridiculous expectations; inventing reasons to be angry or disappointed. Rich’s way of expressing his love to me is to wrap me in a warm embrace, eyes closed and tell me Happy Valentine’s Day and that he loves me. I’ll take that over gifts or flowers any day of the week. 

Shiny and Pretty

Incentives are different from rewards. What? They are.

Merriam-Webster says an Incentive something that incites or has a tendency to incite to determination or action. And Reward is something that is given in return for good or evil done or received or that is offered or given for some service or attainment OR a stimulus administered to an organism following a correct or desired response that increases the probability of occurrence of the response.

See. You have to have the INCENTIVE first.

I wrote about rewards a couple of days ago. How I would reward myself after each 10 lbs lost. Incentive is different and not just my way of getting more stuff, although, that would be clever.

Incentives, for me, are things that are new and shiny and pretty. I know, I’m a little like Dori from Finding Nemo but who’s judging? There is nothing like new exercise clothes, new headphones, new shoes or new music to get me excited about working out! If I really feel like splurging I’ll get some exercise clothes from Lulu Lemon or Athleta. They feel great!

There are other things though, too, like the lunch bag in the picture from my friend Sherry! Have you ever seen such a pretty lunch bag? It’s definitely more fun for me to bring my lunch in this than in the Target bags I used before.

I get pretty water glasses with straws in them because it seems more natural to me to drink water from a straw. I know I’ll drink more that way and that’s just me. Sometimes you have to embrace the unusual because it’s just how you’re made!

The one thing I wouldn’t do as an incentive is buy clothes that are too small for you because you’ll “fit into them soon.” I’ve tried it. It just ends up being demoralizing.

Take some time to figure out what it is that makes you tick. What will make you more motivated? Incentivize yourself and see if it makes a difference!

Craving California

I was craving California so I made fish tacos. They, surprisingly, turned out to be VERY good! It helps that I’ve had them recently so I could choose a recipe that sounded close to Mutt Lynch's fish tacos. This is the recipe I used: Grilled Fish Tacos with Chipotle-Lime Dressing.

I had to alter it a little because that much adobo sauce would have killed me – or, at the very least, burned my mouth off. I’m very delicate. I hadn’t tried adobo sauce until this trip to California. I love it. Actually, I love a little bit of it. It’s way too hot for me but I’m a weenie that way. I used about a tablespoon rather than the ½ cup it calls for.

I also didn’t grill my tilapia. I baked it in a glass pan for about 30 minutes. I didn’t know if it would stick to the indoor grill. I wasn’t feeling adventurous enough to try. The tilapia would’ve been better grilled though.

For the cabbage, I used the coleslaw mix that’s already cut up. The first time we had them, we just piled that on top of the fish – like in the picture. When we had left-over’s the next day, I mixed the sauce in with the cabbage so it was just coated. That was so full of flavor!

If you're gluten-free, remember to get white corn tortillas. I don't like the yellow corn ones as much...they're a little gritty for me.

Since I’m fancy, I served it with Old El Paso Refried beans warmed up right out of the can. You can be like me, too, if you have a can opener and a microwave!

The rice was sticky sushi rice which Rich loves. I’m on the fence. I could do without rice but the meal is more complete if you have rice. I’d rather have a double serving of beans and often order that way at Mexican restaurants. To spice the rice up a little, I squeezed a lime into the water and added about a tablespoon of cilantro. Tada! Cilantro-Lime Rice! It was good – Rich had seconds.

If you’re not going anywhere warm in February, or even if you did but you want to go back, try these fish tacos. They’ll transport you where you want to be…at least for a few moments…before you go out and shovel snow. 

Time + Effort = Reward

We start being rewarded with food as children. Be good at the doctor and you get a sucker. Remember those suckers with the loop for a handle? That’s what they gave out when I saw Dr. Ahlness. I liked the cherry flavor best. This reward system came from our families, too: cookies or a candy bar to mow Grandma’s lawn. So, we grow up with this notion of rewarding ourselves with food.

I just did this to myself last week. I was doing a part of my job that I don’t enjoy. I told myself if I just got it done, I could stop at the gift shop on the way back to my office and get some popcorn and candy. AND I DID JUST THAT! Pavlov would’ve been proud!

If you have created a situation where a reward is wanted, needed or just habituated, I don’t think it should be discouraged. We give up far too many pleasurable things in this life as it is in the name of being healthy, responsible adults. We just have to figure out a reward that’s not harmful. Today, I did that part of my job with the promise that I would come back to my office and have the snack I had packed: pretzels, chocolate chips and an orange. It was still food but wasn’t harmful to me. I didn’t go over on my calories because of it. It would’ve been better to have chosen something like going visit one of my friends at work for a chat or taking a short walk.

When I started this program to lose weight, I decided to reward myself for every 10 lbs of weight lost. The key was that it had to be a nonfood reward. After the first 10 lbs, I got a massage. At 20 lbs, I got a mani-pedi. At 30 lbs it was time for some new clothes. At 40 lbs, I could finally fit into Victoria’s Secret stuff – so, off I went! When I hit the 50 lb mark, I bought myself a Coach Bag (I bought in on eBay, but still!). That’s how it went…I made sure it was always something that would pamper me and make me feel better about myself. It worked!

I encourage you to reward yourself if you’re trying to change a habit. It’s how we’re built. It’s how we best respond. It doesn’t have to be something big. It does have to be something important to you that you wouldn’t otherwise do; something worth working toward. Maybe it’s some self-care you’ve been neglecting for too long – waxing, laser hair treatments, haircut and/or color, or that mani-pedi? It could be a date night or going to a museum or a play. Whatever it is, it should be at increments small enough that you’re able to keep your focus. It will take some thinking and planning…but it’ll be fun. Start brainstorming with the words, “I wish…”

These particular pedi's were paid for by my friend's husband, Larry.

If you can finagle a deal like that - all the better!

Get Real, Dude

Allison loves chicken. She will eat either chicken or a cheeseburger or polk-a-dot (pepperoni) pizza every day of her life. That’s all the variety she would need. Welcome to the life of a 7-year-old!

I love for her to eat chicken. Just chicken. Chicken that was raised on a farm and not injected with hormones and antibiotics. Just regular old yummy chicken. I get those farm chickens when I can from our food co-op. You can too by visiting this website: NE Food Coop. They deliver to different places throughout Omaha and the food, produce and other homemade goodies are fantastic. If you don’t live in our area – I bet you can find one where you live. Or you probably have those big, outdoor food markets that I would love! When I can’t buy this farm fresh local chicken, I buy Just Bare Chicken at Target.

I don’t want her to have any of the paste in the picture below...ever. This is called Mechanically Separated Poultry (MSP). It’s the paste they make out of the meat, tendons and other connective tissue that are separated from the bones by being pressed through a high-pressure sieve. It’s so gross. According to Snopes.com, they claim they don’t “routinely” put any disinfectant in it. They claim there are no bones or guts in it. They claim it’s healthy for human consumption. I’m sure we’ve all eaten it before in nuggets, chicken patties and/or hotdogs. Join me in rejecting this as food – don’t buy it. Tell companies why you’re not buying it. According to Snopes.com, McDonald’s hasn’t used this MSP in its chicken nuggets since 2003 but it’s used other places and in frozen chicken patties and dinners. Allison would eat it.  Not if I know about it.

In my humble opinion, chicken carcasses are only to be boiled to make broths for soups, then thrown in the garbage. Period. End of story.

Instead of wondering what’s in her processed chicken product, I make these drumsticks and she loves them. They’re so easy. I put the juice from half of an orange in a ¼ cup of melted butter. Then, I dunk the drumsticks in it and place them on a greased cookie sheet. I salt and pepper them because she likes them “spicy.” She’s so funny. Bake in a 425 degree oven for 30 minutes. When they’re done, cover with foil for 10 minutes while they finish cooking but remain moist.

These are moist and flavorful and reheat well for her for a couple of days…or they’re great eaten cold on a picnic or packed with you in the car so you don’t have to stop at a drive thru! Pair with fruit and chips or something else crunchy like veggie straws. Enjoy!

Sloth and Chocolate

I think I left my mojo in California. Shawn? Heather? Caroline? Have you seen it? It’s a little hard to describe but you’d know it if you saw it. It’s a bummer that it’s missing. I could really use it about now.

People use the term “mojo” to mean many different things these days. Merriam and Webster says it’s probably of African origin: a magic spell, hex or charm; magical power.

That is hilarious when you consider that I use it to signify when I am in sync – exercise, sleep, work, home, food – all in balance. It apparently requires magical powers for this to happen! Every once in awhile though – sometimes for weeks at a time, it happens.

My mojo is most definitely missing. I had M&Ms today. I had popcorn. Either of them are completely fine to have in and of themselves – but I had them over and above the calories I already had planned for the day. Plus…a few chocolate chips. I didn’t work out yesterday or today. I’m going to diet hell…in a hand basket. I’ll probably see some of you there.

On the days when my mojo is missing, nothing seems important. All the work I’ve done so far seems miniscule compared to the want for sloth and chocolate. Even with it’s shiny packages and warm, soft couch cushions, it’s a bad place to be. It’s a worse place from which to get out.

Even as I’m in it, I can hear a nagging from somewhere in the center of me, saying things like, “You don’t want to do that” and “That’s not going to make you feel good.” As I listen, I know. I suppose it’s like people who drink too much. They know they won’t feel good in the morning…but they do it anyway.

To get my mojo back, I usually need a good night’s sleep, an increase in protein and a rededication to do this right. Rededication comes from before and after photos, reviewing how it feels when I’m healthy and how it feels when I’m not, and reminding myself about how the M&Ms and popcorn felt on an already full belly and how that made them not taste very good. Blah.  

I will start tomorrow anew. I will exercise with vigor. I will count all of the food I put in. It will feel good to be back there. Will I be perfect forever? No. No one is. Will I keep trying every day? Yes. Unfortunately, mojo (much like his more straight-laced cousin, motivation) usually does not sweep in and save the day. It comes later, after a few days of following my plan perfectly. That feeling shows up after all the hard work is over, like that person who comes in at the last minute to take all the credit on a project. Mojo’s very dynamic and fun, though, so I like him.

I’m reminded also that “bad days” are no match for what “bad days” used to be. These M&M’s I had were in one serving packets, not Pounder-size. I ran a half-marathon for the first time 5 days ago. I will run again tomorrow. I’ll not have missed a beat. The flavors of the foods I love, that love me back – fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken – will beckon me and I will love how my body feels when being fueled by this good food.

I will have time this week-end to plan meals and get organized. Mojo will show up around the middle of next week. Just in time to see my eyes start to sparkle and my skin clear and the lilt return to my step. Just you wait and see. 

The hamburger I chose as my protein source tonight.

Back-on-track step one: complete.

For the Love of Coffee

I like my coffee. A lot.

When I started counting calories, I discovered my favorite coffee was 410 calories. I freaked out. That’s a third of my calories for a day in one drink! Crazy. I asked around and someone told me about caramel macchiato creamer. As it turns out, I LOVE it.

It has 35 calories/tbsp. I have 4 tbsp. in two mugs of coffee every morning. Most nights we like to have decaf coffee while we watch TV or read, so I’ll save 140 calories at the end of the day for that.

You’re not supposed to drink your calories, I’m told. It’s a waste of calories, they say. I don’t care. It’s a thing I have. I like my coffee. A lot.

On Being Whelmed...

Have you ever been whelmed? I am right now. Probably because I didn’t take that day off I usually do to regroup after a vacation. My house is a mess, laundry needs to be done, I need groceries, I FINALLY got on antibiotics yesterday for this bronchitis, bills need to be paid, mail is piled high on the counter. And that’s just home – I won’t even delve into work where, over and above my usual job, I am covering for one of my dear friends while she spends a much-needed week in paradise!

I try to settle into whelmed and not let it bother me much. I know that when I’m whelmed, I’m also tired. When I’m tired I eat too much. It’s my body’s way of trying to let me know it’s helping – by giving me calories to keep me awake. It’s not much help. It doesn’t really work. So, instead of having whelm progress, I’d rather embrace it, identify its’ effects in order to deal with them and keep plodding on. I try to focus on "the next thing" and not further. That's really the secret to not letting whelm progress - just do the next thing. 

Whelmed is an okay place. It feels a little uneasy, but it’s not like overwhelmed where I spontaneously burst into tears or stomp out of rooms or slam doors. I don’t like that place. So, my plan for getting out of whelmed and not progressing to over-whelmed is to take my medicine – including some adult cough medicine – and go to bed before 8:30. Everything will still be waiting for me tomorrow…and the next day…until the week-end when the majority of it will finally get done.

I will choose one thing to get done tomorrow. Maybe I will get it done. Maybe I won’t. Either way I will feel better about my state of being because I slept for 10 hours. After two weeks of averaging 3 hours/night – 10 hours sounds fantastic! I should be a new person tomorrow…see you then…

Our girl when we let whelmed progress...

2005