Friday, November 7, 2014

Live All The Way

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” – Mark Twain

My great-grandmother, Minnie Emilina Siverhus, made me a patchwork quilt for my fifth birthday. I have only snapshot memories of her because that’s also the year she died. That quilt has been on my bed ever since. That was forty-one years ago, so the quilt has been worn through a few times and reworked by my grandmother and my mother – who have both said, “It’s time to throw the quilt away.” Throw. The. Quilt. Away? Are you kidding me? It’s the perfect quilt. It keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer – it is well-loved and magical. I hope she would be honored (if also shocked) that I have used it for this many years.

Rather than using these treasures throughout your life, is there anything you’re just storing in the basement, the garage or the attic?
  • Fine china
  • Grandma’s Quilt
  • Great Aunt’s Crocheted throw
  • Anything that’s stored away in a box

You have noble reasons for keeping these things “nice” for generations to come. But will your children or grandchildren appreciate them as much as you do? If you chip a gravy boat, will it be the end of the world or will it turn into a tale of who-dun-it you can tell again and again?

Which reminds me of a funny story…my Dad and I had ONE pillow fight (about 30 years ago). It was in the living room and somehow one of Mom’s hurricane lamps was broken. We’ll say it was Dad who did it. I think that story comes up once or twice a year and we laugh…well, Mom scowls (over her hidden grin)…the rest of us laugh. These weren’t heirlooms but we’re reminded that she hasn’t been able to find replacements since. But look at this great story we have!

This doesn’t just apply to things – it also applies to living. What are you waiting for? Is there anything in your life you’re waiting to do?
  • when you lose weight
  • when the kids graduate
  • when you retire
  • when you make more money
  • when you get a better job

In an effort to rid my life of perfectionistic tendencies, I have started to just do things – jump in, eyes closed, feet first – because once I do that there’s no choice but to keep on going! Nothing’s ever perfect but I’ve been better for every jump.

Use the things in your home – or give them to someone who will, otherwise they’re just clutter. Jump into something you’ve always wanted to do even if the timing isn’t perfect. Your ancestors and mine would advise us to live (and love) all the way while we're here!


The quilt of many colors my grandma made for me

Monday, November 3, 2014

On Critics and Chaos

You may have noticed distinct silence around here…crickets, echoes and such. There have been spaces like that in the past – months at a time – where I’ve let the chaos silence me and allowed others’ needs to come before my own. You do that when you’re a mother and grandmother, a wife and a daughter, a sister and a friend (even with the great joy born of these relationships) not to mention an employee and a student.

The largest contributor to the chaos right now is work. I’m in the early stages (the Pilot, actually) of starting a Wellness Program and for the first time in many years, I’m way out of my comfort zone. I proposed the program. I’ve been allowed to develop it. I’m going to school for a post-master’s certificate in Wellness and Health Promotion. I got myself exactly where I am – on purpose – and it’s exhilaratingly terrifying!

The foundation for the program was easy because I believe whole-heartedly that fixing this country’s health problems starts with prescribing the Mediterranean Diet (or something reasonably close to it), getting people purposefully exercising 150 minutes a week (or working toward it) and adapting some sort of meditation/prayer practice along with a gratitude practice daily. They need some coaching or a way to check in along the way with questions and or problems that come up.

I also believe that to be healthy, you have to use your creativity – if you can’t find time for it daily – then at least once or twice a week. Using your creativity, in whatever way you choose, allows you to recharge your batteries. It makes everything else easier. It allows you to bring your light to the world. Writing and decorating my home are the lights I bring, so I have to make time for them, fit them in with everything else, show up here – chaos or not. So do you, with yours.

I didn’t think these things up myself. I wasn’t hit by a lightning bolt of truth one day. I believe them because I’ve done the research, I’ve listened to the experts and I’ve seen their results. Nevertheless, there seem to be naysayers and nonbelievers lurking at every corner. It has helped me in my new position at work – with writing and just with life itself, to read BrenĂ© Brown’s book , Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, in particular, a speech she references that Teddy Roosevelt gave in 1910:


It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.



I hope his words inspire you as well, as you go about the work you love and the creativity you need while daring greatly- no matter what! I imagine us, “faces marred by dust and sweat…” and tears (I’m too delicate for blood) – high-fiving one another, breathless, but smiling while doing whatever it is we love.



Quote from Brene Brown - one of my favorites!