Sunshine and Happiness

“When the sun is shining I can do anything; no mountain is too high, no trouble too difficult to overcome.” ~ Wilma Rudolph

I’m not your typical sun-loving person who has chosen to live life close to the beach or in the desert. As a teenager, I remember slathering myself with baby oil and putting a mixture of lemon juice and mayonnaise (highlights AND moisturizer!) in my hair before going out to lie in the sun. Lie in the sun in the dry farm grass that poked through my towel…trying carefully to avoid the cactus in the backyard. It was obviously pretty glamorous and probably why I was such a fashion icon in high school!

Since then, I have had limited exposure to the sun even in Florida where we lived for awhile. Nebraska (who would’ve known?) gets crazy hot, much like Florida, and we’ve been searching for shade all summer since we’ve lived here.

That was true (at least for me) until I started running outdoors. I knew I was deficient in Vitamin D from a blood test done a few years ago, so I’ve taken a Vitamin D supplement since. There’s nothing like the sun, though, to revive and rejuvenate me and provide that natural source Vitamin D.

I don’t think I have what would be considered Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I can feel the slide into a funk starting about February every year. That’s when winter is just getting too long for me. I crave the sun and try to get outside whenever I can – even though the sun seems so far away that I don’t get the life-affirming warmth from it that I love in the spring, summer and fall. That’s why the trip to California in early February this year was so great! It was just what I needed at just the right time.

This time of year – when the sky is changing because the tilt of the earth is causing the sun and the moon to seem closer – I love the feeling of being out in it. I especially love the feeling of running in it. I don’t know if it’s because, after all of these years, I’ve shed a few thermal layers but I’m cold most of the time now, so I love the feeling of the sun warming me to my bones and simultaneously brightening my mental outlook.

Pay attention next time you’re out in the warm sun (slathered in sunscreen, not baby oil!). See if it doesn’t help you feel so much better – physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s all good!

Failure is Not an Option

“When you remember to love you, and take care of you first, everything else tends to fall into place.” ~ Mandy Hale

Today was the first day back on plan. Why do I feel like I’ve done this two-hundred times? Oh…because I have? Sure. Alright.

I have…because I’m not quitting. I’m not giving up on me. Depending on which statistic you read or believe 80-95 percent of dieters will gain back all of their weight (and usually more) within five years. How depressing and demoralizing.

Reasons the studies cite for these failures are that the hunger hormone ghrelin increases and makes us hungrier than we were before we lost the weight while the fullness hormone leptin decreases, so we don’t feel as full. All of the studies admit they don’t know enough about obesity yet to be prescriptive with a solution. None of them detail how they had the subjects lose weight. Most of them had the subjects lose 10 percent of their body weight. Many of them had more than half of their subjects drop out before they lost the 10 percent.

The reason I’d like to know how they lost the weight is because I think it makes a huge difference if you lose the weight while recording your food intake so you see what you feel good eating – like how much fiber, protein and carbohydrate feel right in your body. Like how much more full and satisfied you feel eating fruits and vegetables and real protein sources (cheese, chicken, fish, lean beef/pork) rather than grabbing fast food or those little boxed frozen dinners with four bites of fake food in them.

Or did they use a program like Jenny Craig where all of your meals are provided and you don’t learn to do it yourself? We have to learn how to do this right to do it for good. We have to learn what makes us feel like we want to feel. We have to learn to ask for what we need – the time to work-out, the time to plan a menu that includes healthy snacks, the support and understanding of our friends and family. And we have to learn to be a little thick-skinned and ask wait-staff for what we want in restaurants and just smile when our well-meaning friends say things like, “Don’t you think you’ll look like a bobble-head if you lose that much weight?”

One of the reasons I went with the F.A.S.T. program is they had a greater than 90 percent success rate at three years. They were only in business three years when I started with them. I don’t know any updated statistics. They provide the accountability, which I know I need, of checking in every night and weekly weigh-ins. I can call them anytime I have an implosion. They help me find my way. They also have a program to teach you how to be vigilant and maintain the weight-loss.

Thus far, I’ve lost just over 30 percent of my body weight. I’m not going back. You couldn’t drag me back to that place kicking and screaming. Despite the last 5 days, when I was not loving myself and not putting myself first, I’m still on track to get to goal October 3^rd. I’m still slated to run all the races I have planned for the season. I’m still in the game. In the words of those dudes at N.A.S.A. in the ‘60’s – “failure is not an option.” I feel like I have my very own Ground Control and success is one day closer.

Photo courtesy of: leaderswhocare.com

Balance and Quiet Insides

I saw a quote yesterday that said, “Don’t let being perfect get in the way of being good.” It’s so true.

But what about those times I don’t feel like being perfect or good or even mediocre? I feel like forgoing exercise because I’m exhausted. I feel like eating as much as I choose without pausing to count any of the calories I’m inhaling. I would be astonished if I knew...if I allowed myself to stop and think it through.

I wanted to be done with this. I wanted to stay perfect for 100 days. Then I allowed in the insidious feeling of the entire world on my shoulders. That makes it all fall apart. Unfortunately, whatever we accept as our worry becomes ours. Whatever worry we choose to focus on makes our minds and bodies feel as though they’re going through that very experience.

I don’t even know where it came from. I think it’s just a matter of slipping into old behaviors…becoming complacent and allowing perfectionism in uninvited. Taken in all at once, the world can be heavy and noisy – we have to protect ourselves from it. Take it in small doses or it’s all too much.

So today, I’m practicing laying it down. I don’t need to carry most things. Most things are not even mine to carry. I can be better about saying the Serenity Prayer instead of worrying. I can be better about delegating chores and other household duties. It doesn’t all have to fall on me.

For instance, I’ve been worried about finding time to do Spring Cleaning even before it was time to do it. How would I fit that into an already tight schedule? I also have to do touch-up painting, clean out and organize the storage room, clean cupboards, and I have at least one new garden area planned. How…and when will this all get done?

So, I’ve decided to hire someone to do my Spring Cleaning. She comes Thursday to give me an estimate. Provided she doesn’t run screaming from the house, I should have a lovely, clean home in a week or so. Then I can make time for the rest. I already feel like some of the weight has been lifted.

I’ve also got people coming to repair the gates of our fence after they sustained some damage in a high wind last Fall, someone coming to replace a window well, and someone coming to steam clean my carpet and tile. I can’t wait until it’s all done!

While those are just the more superficial worries, it’s nice to have them tamed. Are you good at asking for help? Give it a try with something small and see if you can’t feel your shoulders lighten a bit. See if the world doesn’t seem quite so heavy or noisy anymore. Then try it with some bigger issues. Like anything, it takes practice and perseverance but it’s definitely a skill worth learning. You won’t find the necessary balance of life without it.

What my noisy insides feel like sometimes....

If Summer Ever Comes

I’ve loved lettuce wraps since the first time I had them at P.F. Changs years ago. I’ve looked for the recipe a number of times but I’ve never done the calorie breakdown and taken the time to make them. It doesn't take much time at all. I didn’t know what I would serve them with and I let that be a roadblock for awhile.

Tonight I’m serving them with Baked Potato Soup. I bet they don’t serve them with Potato Soup at P.F. Changs…but it’ll do for us. They are light and yummy and have the perfect level of spice. I will be serving these as a meal with fruit this summer – if summer ever comes!

They’re supposed to be made with ground chicken but I didn’t have that, I just had chicken breasts. I cut the meat up in tiny chunks but I think it would be better ground. Next time. I used only half the Hoisin Sauce the recipe calls for to make it less runny. I topped them with a southwest mixture of lettuce and cabbage.

We love these. I hope you do, too!

Recipe:

P.F. Chang's Lettuce Wraps

Nutrition Facts for 128grams:

• Calories: 245
• Fat: 14.1
• Carbs: 9.3
• Fiber: 0.5
• Protein: 26.9

Shades of Gray

I ate too much last night…dumplings and flourless peanut butter cookies. This…after thirty-four perfect days! It’s so disappointing. I’ve done this before, of course. Often times, I’ve lied about it and just kept going – recording false numbers to submit at the end of the night. Beginning in early February of this year, though – I committed to doing it right and learning everything I can to get this right for a lifetime.

Part of that commitment includes the caveat that if I can’t do it perfectly, I will call the people at F.A.S.T. to let them know what’s going on. I won’t just gloss over the mistakes (read lie) and trudge forward without being accountable and making a course correction.

You’d think I’d have learned by now that lying to myself (or anyone else) is a bad idea that gets me nowhere. As with so many other situations, looking at life in terms that are too black and white can hurt you and those around you. Human behavior and the world we live in are made up of SO many shades of gray. Expecting perfection of anyone (even yourself) is unrealistic and will ultimately end in disappointment.

The response I got when I called was that I was still 97% perfect over the last thirty-five days. The message was that I’m still learning – to keep going, forgive myself, and not be discouraged. I’ve been told that before. I’m more open to hearing it now. I understand that I’m in training. That it’ll come. I’m confident that, regardless of last night, I’m going to get this right for good.

In the meantime, I’m learning to take it easy on myself and others. I’m aware that everyone has struggles – public or private – and they could use a kind word, an encouraging smile, and another chance to get it right.

Black and white thinking, judgment and prejudice are based in irrational fear and hate. They serve to make us less tolerant of everyone and give us a false sense of superiority. When we turn black and white thinking and judgment on ourselves it’s typically out of fear and regret. It’s equally as ugly and damaging to us as it is to anyone else.

What could we be thinking? Why does it make sense to do that to anyone, but, particularly to ourselves? I’m finding out that the bulk of this training has nothing to do with food. It has to do with the practice of forgiveness and appreciation for the varied and beautiful shades of gray…mine...and yours.

Photo courtesy of: thousandshadesofgray.com

A New Frontier

You know how I love my soup! There are times I want to make them homemade – do all the chopping and measuring myself. But, sometimes I want spend my time doing other things like reading or writing, cleaning, or just hanging out with the family. That’s when Frontier Soups come in handy.

I know you can buy these mixes at Whole Foods but they’re sold other places, too. Or, you can buy them online. A couple of weeks ago I made the Minnesota Heartland Eleven Bean Soup and Michigan Ski Country Chili. They were both delicious. The chili is made with red wine and the flavor is deep, warm and wonderful.

The next one, that’s on my list to get today, is Colorado Campfire Chicken Stew. The picture makes it look like the inside of a Chicken Pot Pie. Yum! Most of the Frontier Soups I’ve made have taken a few hours to cook because they have beans in them. They also have soup varieties that are ready quickly like South of the Border Tortilla Soup or Virginia Blue Ridge Broccoli Cheddar Soup.

They use the best ingredients and no sodium, MSG or preservatives. Each one comes with its own spice packet. They offer twenty-five gluten-free varieties and eleven vegetarian soups! These probably aren’t soups you’d make every week, but once a month or so (particularly in the winter months), it’s nice to make a meal you don’t have to think about that still meets your requirement for a flavorful and healthy meal for your family.

Give them a try and let me know which ones you think are the best! 

Michigan Ski Country Chili

A Little Change in Perspective

I think we’re supposed to learn as we grow up that change is inevitable and really essential to our successful maturity. I’ve continually found myself feeling a little behind. I’ve always been taken completely by surprise with change and, in most cases, tried to resist it as long as I could. It’s taken many years for me to accept change as a part of living and I’m still working on accepting problems as necessary for growth.

In my job as a Nurse Practitioner people come to me for help because they have health problems they can’t solve on their own. In another part of that job, I function as the Clinical Consultant for the Emergency Department. That means it’s my job to make sure our staff knows the latest evidence-based practice, that they’re doing a good job documenting the great care they’re giving, and I review processes to improve our quality and effectiveness as a department. A majority of my time at work is spent solving problems. Yours probably is, too, just different ones. So, if you’re like me, you need to adjust your focus now and then. We can’t be disheartened by the constant onslaught of problems when the solving of these problems is what ensures our continued employment.

After work, though, you can come home and just relax, right? I know, me neither. The problems can be small like scheduling issues with activities – horse lessons have been changed to Fridays. Violin lessons are on Fridays. We have to do some juggling. It’s not a big deal – just something unexpected that popped up. The much larger issues are things like, “Mom, I need $600 for textbooks. Today.” Or, “You’re going to be a grandmother.” Wow. The $600 is not unusual – we’ve all had unexpected expenses – sometimes much more staggering than that…they’ll never go away. I’m certain this grand-baby will be a wonderful blessing despite the unusual circumstances. We will all love this child more than we can imagine. So we must, collectively, relax, focus on what’s most important, and find our way through it together.

Want to try having a different perspective for awhile? Let’s just try it for one day – whatever problems arise, we’ll look at them as a challenge and just start thinking of solutions. Sometimes the solutions take awhile – longer than just a day – we’ll make that okay, too, if only for a day. Try to think about why this problem developed – could it have been avoided with earlier action (are you a procrastinator?) or is the problem there to improve you in some way? Maybe we’ll all feel a little lighter – more positive. Maybe life will seem more manageable just for having shifted our thinking even for one day. Maybe we'll want to try it every day. I’m starting tomorrow…when are you?

Shift your focus from problems to enjoyment of a sunset like this...

Does Anything Say 'Love' Like Biscuits and Gravy?

Kids make you get out of your comfort zone in so many ways – they make you experience life more. Admittedly, this is a pretty insignificant example of this but it's an example just the same! Last week-end Alex wanted biscuits and gravy for breakfast. After he suggested it, I wanted it too. I haven’t had good biscuits and gravy for years. I tried once last year and it turned out to be a salty mess.

This time I used Pioneer Woman's Drop Biscuits and Gravy recipe. It was perfect. It was even better – more flavorful - left-over. Hers is made with homemade drop biscuits. I made ours with gluten-free Pamela’s drop biscuits. I like the fact that it’s made with drop biscuits. You won’t see me cutting out biscuits in the morning! Who am I kidding? I don't cut out biscuits...ever. I made the gravy with Gluten-Free Pantry’s all-purpose flour.

The only down-side was that two biscuits and 104 grams of the sausage gravy came to 397 calories! Add my morning coffee to that and I ended breakfast at 537 calories – over a third of what I’m allotted for the day! That made me cringe a little. But, every now and then, it’s worth the trade-off to have something wonderful and settle for less calories later.

The way to do that successfully is to plan the rest of the day eating things that are high in protein and high in fiber. That day, I had 16 strawberries and a half-cup of cottage cheese for lunch. I ate less for lunch and snack but about the same at dinner. It all worked out just fine. I psyche myself out a bit too much when things like this happen. I need to relax and enjoy the meals I make, not suck the joy out of them with my anxiety about how the rest of the day will go.

For many of us, there is a lot of joy in food. There is joy in making and sharing food. We love those around us with food. That’s just the way we are. We come from a long line of the same. Try these biscuits and gravy this week-end – just plan your day well. Share them, and the love and joy that go with them, with your family…and maybe me!

Nutrition Facts:

Pamela’s Drop Biscuits (one but I had two with this meal)

(the recipe calls for Crisco, which I leave out and they turn out just fine) 

• Calories: 87
• Fat: 4.6
• Carbs: 14.3
• Fiber: 1.5
• Protein: 2.7

Sausage Gravy (104 g) 

• Calories: 253
• Fat: 9.3
• Carbs: 13.1
• Fiber: 0
• Protein: 7.5

I Ran Like the Wind

It was a beautiful day here on Friday – 67 degrees with clear skies and no wind. It was a great day for my first outdoor run of the season. I ran like the wind (work with me here). I felt energetic and strong. I ran just over 12 minute miles for 2.5 miles. I felt great…until Saturday. Saturday and Sunday I have felt old and cramped. My quads are unrelenting in their whining and screeching each time I walk the stairs or sit in a chair.

This was not what I expected for 2.5 miles. The painful truth is: the elliptical that I’ve been working out on most of the winter, while providing a great cardio workout, is no match for pounding the pavement. It looks like the weather won’t cooperate for a nice run like that again for over a week. I have some time to recover. But, it’s time to get into racing mode.

I will do at least one race a month throughout the summer – 5K’s and 10K’s. I have moved my half-marathon plan up to August 3^rd – in St. Paul, MN. My friend Cathy, who’s apparently lost her mind, wants to do a half-marathon in every state. This will allow us to take a fun road trip AND get her one state closer to her goal. Destination race here we come!

I love the feeling of having the racing schedule done, but I’m not there yet. Summers get so busy and I don’t want any races to get in the way of vacation plans. So far I have:

April: Gambler 5K

May: Color Me Rad & Illuminite Run (on the same day!)

June: 5K, Gretna

July:

August: St. Paul Half Marathon

September:

October: Midnight Run 5K

I’m looking for 10K’s in July and September. Racing season isn’t the only reason I’m eagerly awaiting spring, summer and fall. There are so many exciting things happening with our family: we have a grandbaby coming in July, Adam is done with the Army and moves back to go to college in August, I will get to goal weight in October. Who knows what other surprises are in store for us!

Today, working out the soreness from my over-exuberance, I’m grateful for the health and strength of our patchwork family. Navigating this life with all of them makes every day an adventure and every new season exciting. Running keeps me (relatively) sane through it all. 

"Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows." ~ Forrest Gump

Face the Music

“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.” 
~ Doug Firebaugh

I have no idea who Doug Firebaugh is but I’ve read and heard from other sources that this is good advice. Doug just happened to show up with this quote on Facebook today and remind me that I need to write something about this.

I know, intuitively, that it’s good advice because I’ve tried to change and/or improve things in my life before and suddenly it’s 10 years later and I've accomplished nothing to bring me closer to the goal I’d set so many years earlier. That’s because I’ve lost focus. I’ve made someone or something else a priority – life got in the way. By doing something every day that gets you closer to your goal, you keep your momentum working for you – you keep your eye on the prize.

Keith Ellis, in his book The Magic Lamp, goes one-step further. He says that once a week, you should write a progress report. He’s probably right. I haven’t gotten to that point yet but I’m going to do my first progress report today. I’ll probably include sections like:

• What I did daily to improve?
• What mistakes did I make?
• How can I do better? 

The thing that makes this uncomfortable and makes me scowl a little is the accountability of it. It’s a little in-your-face regarding your short-comings and I typically prefer to gloss over those and see myself and my efforts as flawless. Raise your hand if you have ever said something like, “I’m eating great food and exercising, I have no idea why I’m not losing weight.” Me too. Our brains conveniently forget about a candy bar here or there, disregard that sugary coffee, or block out that we cleaned our plate at Ruby Tuesdays. Or the exercise we’re doing is just a leisurely stroll – we’re not pushing ourselves at all. The problem with all of this is you just ignore what you’re doing wrong and keep repeating past mistakes.

I want to quit doing that now. It’s time to face the music. I’ve been doing well with losing weight for the last month – eating well and exercising. However, when I was sick this last week (there’s always SOME kind of wrench in things) I really slacked on my exercise. It’ll become a slippery slope if I let it. Luckily, it’s ridiculously beautiful outside today and I’m looking forward to the sunshine and fresh air during a run this afternoon!

Join me in my quest to improve. It doesn’t have to be weight-loss. Pick something in your life you’d like to do better – a habit you’d like to change or habit you’d like to start. Maybe think bigger than a habit - do you want to change your career, live somewhere else? Spend 10-30 minutes a day focusing on your goal and do something that will inch you a little closer to it tomorrow. Be honest with yourself. Call yourself out on your excuses. Write down a weekly progress report. We’ll be happier for the work and focus we’ve put into it all. In the words of Switchfoot, "This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"  

Photo courtesy of: Colourbox

I'm Wendy and I'm a Grumpus

I was a grumpus today. There was no way around it. I just was. I didn’t even have the energy to fight it. I just gave in to it. I know I’ve already mentioned that I’ve been sick. It’s gotten out of hand. I had to start antibiotics yesterday after the third straight night of coughing so much I would get about two hours of sleep. This, after taking cough medicine with happy juice in it!

It got me thinking today, though, that I don’t know how people do it. People who live with chronic disease that makes them so uncomfortable they can’t sleep. What about people who can’t breathe? Or those who suffer from insomnia? I want nothing to do with any of that.

So, while it’s REALLY difficult to summon the energy to work-out and I have had to take it a little easy – I have a renewed commitment to avoid any chronic disease my genetics haven’t already dictated. I know I wouldn’t be the sweet old lady with the sunny disposition that I want to be someday if I had to deal with insomnia, chronic pain, shortness of breath or anything else that would make me a grumpus.

I’m delicate. I need my sleep. If I don’t get it, there’s no-one in the world who wants to live or work with THAT mess. The plan for tonight is tea with honey, cough medicine with happy juice and sleep. Tomorrow all will be right with the world again. 

A Gift of Time

If you’re anything like me, you’re in overdrive most of the time. There is always too much to do. There is always too little time.

Most of the time, I can’t fit a work-out in before I go to work. I love the days when I can, but most of the time it just doesn’t fit; unless I get up at 5:00 am and I don’t see that happening. I work daytime hours, usually getting home by five or five-thirty with just enough time to make dinner...sometimes a bit early and I can work-out quick before dinner. Otherwise, it's after dinner or even after Allison is in bed. Painful! 

The recurring question and one I need help with is: “what’s for dinner?” Usually there are no suggestions coming from other members of the family. I have the challenge of making something tasty that’s gluten-free and usually between 350-500 calories per serving. It can be difficult to make a variety of foods and not get into the same old rut of burgers, spaghetti and tacos/nachos.

That’s why I was thrilled last week to come across The Fresh20 on the Gluten-free Girl website! This site delivers five recipes, with a total of twenty ingredients, to make for the following week. That gives me two days for having burgers, spaghetti or tacos/nachos or one of the many soups I enjoy. The site even includes nutrition information for each meal! What a find!

Right now, they have a Gluten-free Girl special that’s $10 off per year. So for $40 per year, you get these recipes (with nutrition facts) delivered to you weekly, so you can get your groceries over the week-end. It’s called the Fresh20 because they use fresh ingredients whenever possible. This is the first week, so I can’t say I’m sold yet but all the recipes sound so good. The first weeks’ recipes include: 

• Roasted chicken with roasted root vegetables
• Scallop and garlic linguine with side salad
• Chicken Corn Chowder
• Chicken, Corn and Kale Enchiladas
• Salsa Stuffed Baked Potatoes

The only recipe that I’m going to change out this week is the Salsa Stuffed Baked Potatoes – I’d rather just have the loaded baked potatoes I make. We had the roasted chicken with roasted root vegetables last night. It was delicious. When I made that, I baked potatoes at the same time, put them in the fridge and made Baked Potato Soup with them tonight. Tomorrow we will try the linguine with a side salad.

The plan is to use some ingredients from the meal the night before in the next night’s meal. This way, you also save money on your grocery bill and who couldn’t use that? It’s nice to have one less thing to think about – one thing off my plate - a gift of time, really.

Roasted Chicken with Root Vegetables

On Limiting Collateral Damage

Even though I can’t kick a virus to save my life this winter, I’m feeling pretty good; pretty good because I’m working on my twenty-second perfect day in a row. That means I’ve completed three weeks of perfect days – perfect exercise, perfect food. The first twenty or so days of this are the hardest.

Now, when I feel like cheating, I look at the chart in the picture below and really take into account what I’d be blowing. Who’s going to blow twenty-one perfect days? Not me. When it’s only two perfect days, it’s a lot easier to talk yourself into cheating and just starting over. After all, what’s two days? But twenty-one? Forget it.

So, I’m over one-fifth of the way to my goal of one hundred perfect days. I’ve lost six pounds, so I’m ahead of my schedule to lose 1.5 pounds/week until the first week in October, when I’ll reach my goal weight.

Why can I do it now, when I’d struggled for four months to get it right? I decided. I choose to do it well. I’ve made it okay to be hungry sometimes. I was hungry last night when I went to bed. I just went to bed, knowing I had a yummy breakfast awaiting me in the morning. Now that I look back, I don’t even know if it was actual hunger. It may have just been that I was overtired.

When I’m in the throes of crazy – eating terribly and feeling worse – the recipe for doing this right, getting my mojo back, isn’t clear to me. I can talk to myself until I’m blue in the face. Nothing gets through to me. When I’m doing this right, when I DECIDE to do it right and I’ve gone this far being perfect, nothing makes more sense. If anyone can crack this mystery of the human brain (or just my brain) – please enlighten me!

Now that I’ve written this down – told you all – maybe next time I’m lost, I can come back here and read this and get back on track a little sooner. Maybe next time there won’t be a four month delay in getting back to it. I’m looking for my next screw-up (and the one after that and the one after that) to be self-limiting and short-lived…with very little collateral damage.

Soft Centers

“Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles that nobody knows about.” ~unknown

We’re watching The Office, starting at the very beginning, on Netflix. I think we might be on Season 4. We did the same thing with Seinfeld many years ago – we didn’t watch it while it was airing but watched the whole thing in syndication. We’re a little slow to catch on around here.

Michael Scott, is hilarious as the socially awkward office buffoon, but over and over again you see glimpses of his character as a lonely and deeply pained individual desperately seeking acceptance. Outwardly he’s overtly racist, sexist, callous and self-aggrandizing. When you’re allowed to see all sides, though, you see that he just lacks social grace…he has no filter.

Whether I’m at work or at home, I attempt to function from the core belief that most people are doing their best. Most people care for their friends and family, work hard, play by the rules and want to be rewarded by spending time doing the things they love; that on a fundamental level – we all strive for those same things.

If we all want these same things, why are there quotes all over Facebook about cutting negative people out of your life? There must be a lot of negative people out there. Are there? Or are we misunderstanding? Are there just a bunch of Michael Scott’s in the world?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about the people who are vindictive and play at being cruel to others for sport. I’ve had the misfortune of knowing a couple of these people personally and of seeing some of them professionally. They’re pathologic and best avoided at all costs.

What I’m talking about are the people who aren’t cruel or pathologic: The Negative Nellie’s or the Debbie Downer’s or the people who say things that make you look at others out of the corner of your eye, like, “What?” They have behavior that can sometimes be baffling. Maybe they’re in pain – guarded and a little punchy. Maybe they’re looking for love and acceptance – a place to belong. They’re just not very good at getting what they want. They don’t know how to ask for what they need.

In contrast to the pathologic narcissists I described above (who are completely incapable of considering the feelings and/or perspectives of another) when these people are made aware that they’ve hurt someone, they’re genuinely sorry, even puzzled. We don’t generally get to see this side of people because they only show us what they want us to see. If life was more like TV, we’d be able to witness the times when people are a little open and vulnerable. We’d get to see all sides.

These people, like Michael Scott, I describe as being rough around the edges but having “soft centers.” I’ve known many of these people – they’ve been some of my favorites. In order to let yourself really know them, you have to let your guard down a little bit. They may say things that would normally hurt your feelings – just consider the source and the intention with them – let it roll off your back. By being a friend to someone who, for whatever reason, may be struggling you can enrich their life as well as your own. Wouldn’t it be great if we all let our guard down just a little, quit trying to protect ourselves from hurts that haven’t even happened yet and gave one another the benefit of the doubt? 

Sea Salt Dark Chocolate Caramels - my favorite candy

Soft Centers come in all shapes and sizes

COOKIE!!!!

I’ve been thinking about making these cookies for the last few days until, in my mind, I sounded like Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster (COOKIE!!!!!). So, I had to make them and get it over with. As with so many other things, the idea was so much better than the reality.

Who says you can’t have cookies for dinner? I’m 45 years old. I’m the Mom. I buy my own groceries. I make the cookies. If I want cookies, they will be had. I didn’t go over and above my calories to do this. I slowly and carefully plotted and planned the number of calories I would need for my two cookies. It would mean very little else for dinner.

Frankly, the whole experience was a little disappointing.

These are my usual Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies using the recipe on the package with the minor adjustment of using Crisco in place of butter. Our family has loved these for years. I didn’t want to use Crisco this time. Besides the hydrogenated oil issue – it’s packed with calories – 110 calories per tablespoon whereas canola butter has 50 calories per tablespoon. They needed to be gluten-free for me, so I used a new flax blend flour with a great whole grain flavor to it. Still, the cookies were a little more runny than usual because I used whipped butter rather than Crisco.

They still tasted good but they weren’t dense like my normal chocolate chip cookies. I had two cookies, one was just dough – the other was cooked. I’m satisfied that I got my cookies, but I’m a little hungry yet. I knew I would be and took the trade off.

I know there’s someone out there thinking, “This chick needs some serious help.” That may be so. If your mind has never screamed, “Cookie!!!” – you may not understand the urgency of the situation. Rest assured, the issue has been diffused and I’m back to eating sensible, wholesome food (with a smidge of chocolate, too) tomorrow.

My mind is done screeching, “Cookie!!!” every few seconds. Now it’s screeching, “Burger!!!!” My mind needs to ‘zip it’ and leave me the h-e-double-hockey-sticks alone…

Running Scared (or Sick)

I've been sick more than your average bear this year. I have mostly hated it. I've done everything I could to stay well - I've been attending to my sleep, eating well, and exercising. Each time I was sick, I used Lysol to clean my door handles and surfaces and bought a new toothbrush. I wash my hands and use hand sanitizer like someone afflicted with OCD. This should not be happening to me! The one thing I can't change is that I work in a hospital around a bunch of sick people.

So, this has been a rough winter for many people. There's alot of crud (a technical term us healthcare-types use) going around. It's March, so by now we're just a bunch of walking petri dishes. Gross.

What do you do about exercise when your muscles are shriveled and weak from the onslaught of the latest virus and you just want to lie down? You should most definitely plan on going to bed early, increase your fluids, and take some cold medicine. But, before you do that - get ten minutes of some kind of exercise. If you can muster thirty, then do thirty. Make it gentle. Stretch well before you workout and just gently walk with some calm music playing. Don't push it because your muscles are prone to injury when you're sick.

Most people, myself included, want to throw in the towel when they're sick. They think they can't possibly do it and they'll just get right back to it when they're feeling good again. The problem is, that could be a week from now. You can lose alot of progress in a normal week of skipping exercise. If you skip exercise for a week of lying on the couch at every opportunity, you'll regret it when it's time to really move again. You will want to keep on with the slothfulness you've grown accustomed to and it'll be so difficult to get started again.

So, listen to your body when it tells you to lie down. Say something back like, "Yes, I will as soon as my work-out is done." Eat more citrus fruit and strawberries. Take a multivitamin (or two) and some extra vitamin C. Sleep until you can't sleep anymore. Eat some amazing soups. Drink some Chai spice tea with honey. Use Puffs with lotion so you don't get a Rudolph nose. Alter your level of exercise but don't skip it completely...it's good for what ails you.

Whatcha Eatin'?

I get questions from people about how to start eating right. Where to begin? It all seems overwhelming. The information we read is varied and often contradictory, which can be frustrating in itself. The important thing is not that you get this perfect right off the bat. The important thing is that you start. Maybe you want to start by looking up how many calories are in your favorite foods; or cut out soda; or most processed food?

This is how I do it, but keep in mind, I’ve been at this a couple of years. I arrange my food differently to accommodate different situations – like a night out. I’ll save calories throughout the day, make sure I get my fiber before I go and check out the restaurant’s nutrition facts early in the day so the whole day can be planned around those calories I’ll have later. Most days, though, I plan the day so I’m never too hungry. That’s when I feel the most in control and healthy and satisfied.

I don’t think there’s one prescription for everyone, but this is what works for me. I eat under 1500 calories/day – never much under that, though. I usually divide my calories between breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and the creamer I have in my decaf coffee every night. I don’t have the time or organization to eat six meals a day – but I can’t go the six hours between lunch and dinner without a snack to sustain me.

I eat the Big Sky Oatmeal with coffee and creamer every morning – that’s 381 calories. Lunch is between 360-420 calories. An afternoon snack is anywhere between 180 and 220 calories. Dinner is 380-450 calories – roughly. Then, my creamer at night is 140 calories and I’m done for the day.

There are so many different ways to do this right. It takes experimentation – knowing not only when it feels best for you to eat but what food both tastes good and satisfies you. Being satisfied is different than being full. I don’t belch from being full anymore, I don’t have to lean back in my chair or unbutton my pants (I know – attractive!), I haven’t taken TUMS in 2 years. I used to use a large bottle of them every month; it may have been the effects of the gluten but it was also the volume of food I was eating.

It’s a mental thing, yet again, adjusting to the way satisfied feels and making that okay. Resisting the urge (or habit) to stop at a vending machine or a drive-thru because that’s not been planned in today’s food. Or, getting something from the vending machine or drive-thru – but being able to count it – and adjust your numbers for the remainder of the day. When you make that type of choice, you have to know that you’re probably going to be a bit hungry later and be okay with that, too.

Knowing how many calories your body needs and sticking to that is vital. Getting a food scale so you can be accurate is the start. Making sure you record everything you eat is necessary or, if you’re like me, you’ll fudge your numbers – a little here, a little there and you won’t make the progress you want.

The picture below is what I’m eating today. I can’t say it’s a typical day because I usually don’t have the delicious scones I made this morning or the lemon bars I made yesterday! I’m having the square of dark chocolate caramel in place of the chocolate chips I usually have with my afternoon snack. The mug is what I drink my coffee from – I have two of them in the morning and two of them at night. This picture represents 1486 calories. In addition to this, I drink at least eight glasses of water every day.

As you can see, I’m not suffering in order to lose weight or eat a gluten-free diet. I’ve had to adjust the way I cook and some of the things I eat. But, I love food and I eat well. You can, too!

Clockwise: Orange/berry Scottish Oat Scone with bacon, coffee, loaded baked potato, 

lemon square, chili with shredded cheese, blackberries, orange and dark chocolate caramel

Aunt Connie's Lemon Drop Bars

My Aunt Connie sent me the recipe for these gluten-free Lemon Bars! I haven’t had lemon bars for years and Rich loves them. I altered them a little because I found Pamela’s Bread Mix and Flour Blend, so I didn’t use the flour blend in the recipe. Why do extra work when someone else has already done it? I also usually use Light Canola Butter in the place of butter because it has half the calories of real butter. It’s a whipped butter, so when mixing this crust, it doesn’t become crumbly like usual. It just forms a big ball. It spreads well in the bottom of the pan with a spatula, though. If you’re not worried about counting calories you can definitely use regular butter.

I’ve named the new recipe Aunt Connie’s Lemon Drop Bars. That’s what these taste like – tart and sweet like a lemon drop! I’m having two today because they’re so yummy I can’t leave them alone. Try them – and if you’re not gluten-free just use regular flour in the same amount. Enjoy (one…or maybe two)!

Aunt Connie’s Lemon Drop Bars

1 cup Pamela’s bread mix and flour blend

½ cup light canola butter

¼ cup sugar

Mix well with a fork. Use a spatula to spread in a greased 8x8 in pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes until edges start to brown.

While that’s baking mix:

¾ cup sugar

2 eggs

3 tbsp. lemon juice

2 tbsp. Pamela’s bread mix and flour blend

1 tsp. lemon zest

¼ tsp. gluten-free baking powder

When crust is finished baking, pour this mixture over crust and bake at 350 degrees for 18-20 minutes until filling is set.

Sprinkle with powdered sugar (1/8 cup total) while warm and again when cooled. Cut into 16 squares.

Nutrition Facts for 1/16 of the pan:

• Calories: 126.5
• Fat: 3.7
• Carbs: 22.8
• Fiber: 1
• Protein: 1.1

Shine That Light on Yourself

I’m paraphrasing from a book I read a few years ago that I forget the name of:

Think of the person or people you love most in the world.

Really picture them and think about the depth of love and

caring and compassion you have for them. See their faces

in your mind. Feel the completeness of that love in your

heart and soul - how you glow when you think about them…

Now, turn that around and shine a little bit of that light on

yourself.

When I first read that, it had such a profound effect on me that it brought me to tears. Why? Because I didn’t do that at all – it’s a large part of what was missing for me. We grow up focused on how we’re deficient, how we could always be better. Just one example is how we’re bombarded with photo-shopped images of the ideal body that we’re too young and naïve to know are photo-shopped. So, we grow up loathing bodies that are perfect, normal and healthy. When we’re older, we’re pressured to be and do everything as working wives and mothers. We’re so hard on ourselves when we don’t measure up to these expectations without thinking that they're impossible for anyone to meet. We blame ourselves for even the smallest thing that goes wrong.

How do we escape these expectations? Just don’t accept them as your own. Who’s judging your life? You. You get to decide what your life will look like. Okay, not entirely - life happens. You don’t get to decide what happens a lot of the time but you do get to decide your reaction to it. You can choose to adapt. For instance, my husband had brain surgery 4 years after we were married and almost died. He is medically disabled from the Air Force. Alright. Was this what I expected? No. Am I so grateful every day that he is here with us? Yes. It’s been 12 years – we’ve slowly adapted and come to know a new normal.

I think if we’re all doing this right, we figure out somewhere in our thirties what really matters. By the time I was thirty-three I’d been through a pretty ugly divorce and been very nearly widowed. That’s probably why it happens in our thirties: by that time we’ve all had some trauma shake us to our core. If we let go of fear, take time for introspection and walk the stages of grief, we come out on the other side stronger, more compassionate, more honest and more filled with love than we ever were before. We all know people who’ve gone through traumas unsuccessfully and come out bitter and hateful; people who spend the rest of their lives lashing out at an unjust world.

I never want to be that person. I want to teach my children how to cope when life is unfair – how to always look to the future with hope in their hearts and kindness in their eyes. To love and care for themselves, so they can in turn care for others. In order to do that, I need to live my life as an example they can witness. 

Photo Courtesy of www.brightsideofnews.com