Sow Seeds of Gratitude

I had my daughter later in life. I was categorized, in the words used by maternity folks, as being of “advanced maternal age” at the age of thirty-seven. Aging, or at least thinking of it as threatening or scary, had never really hit me until then. So many changes have taken place in the years since Allison’s arrival. All of those changes aren’t because of her but many of them are closely related.

Mothers of daughters are dedicated to showing them a better way. Mothers of sons are dedicated too – it’s just different. What is accepted in our sons isn't necessarily accepted in our daughters. Our society would have our daughters sit nicely, remain quiet, mind their manners. The images in their tween and teen magazines tell them how they should look and feel and create all sorts of anxiety if they don’t fit into the mold. The adventuresome spirit they’re born with is stifled by concern with how they will look kayaking, skiing, running, jumping or doing most anything. They don’t understand that doing just exactly what they choose will create their best life. They don’t understand how fulfilling and amazing their life will be because they made their own choice and then tenaciously plowed forward, undeterred.

I am fortunate that my daughter was born with not only that adventuresome spirit, but also a steadfast will, an old soul and a kind heart. Before I knew all of this about her – that’s what I wanted for her. If I was to be not only her mother but also her mentor – her example, some things in me had to change. I needed to be much closer to the person I wanted her to become. I needed to wrestle with my own fears and anxieties – have a staring contest with them and win. I have to show her that, no matter how you’re feeling on the inside, you throw those shoulders back and lift your head and look the world square in the face as if to say, “bring it.”

A side benefit (and there are so many others) has been that I’m not worried much about aging. I think aging is more difficult for people who did fit in the mold. As for me, I’m in better shape than I’ve been in over twenty years. I will continue to be strong. I will continue to show her how, just as it is for men, age is just a number. Sure, age comes with its challenges but they don’t have to be as limiting as we allow them to be and we don’t have to be critical of our bodies because of it. We have to learn to work with those changes – alter our perspective and continue to do those things we choose to do, undeterred.

Part of providing an example for her has been teaching her how to be grateful for what she has – her family, her friends, her pets, her room, her toys, and the beauty of nature. She has mentioned before (already) that her legs are bigger than a couple of her friends’ legs. We talked about being grateful that she was given strong, muscular legs. My hope is that she can carry this gratitude for the body she was gifted through those horrible-body-image years and beyond.

Even if you don’t have a daughter – it will help you to practice gratitude for the body and mind you were given too. Look how far they’ve brought you! Age in the body and mind you were gifted with grace and gratitude rather than cynicism and loathing. You will find that it will make you happier, kinder, more optimistic, and more willing to say "yes" to any experience you choose!

She fills my heart with gratitude. April 2013.

...Starring You as The Greatest Gift

What better gift can you give your spouse than the gift of your time and undivided, kid-free attention? I started doing this a few years ago for birthday and Christmas, and even sometimes a “just-because” for Rich. He requires very little and those things he does want/need have very clear specifications. He usually purchases those without waiting for any holiday. Besides, I have an aversion to buying a “gift” for him that he’s written the specs down for – not much surprise/romance there!

So, I started buying gifts of two event tickets for him. Luckily (for him), he’s chosen to take me to these events as his date! They’ve typically been concerts – Fleetwood Mac, Matchbox Twenty, Bob Dylan. Last year, for his 50^th birthday we trekked to Kansas City to see one of our favorite bands - O.A.R. We made an overnight stay of it at the Crown Center Marriott. It was wonderful! They’re going to be in Kansas City again in June and so will we! Last night was Rich’s Christmas present – the comedian Lewis Black at the beautiful Holland Center downtown.

There were many years Rich didn’t feel well enough to go out. Then there were the years we were reluctant to get a babysitter because we’re generally overprotective of our little Peanut. Now, we have young adult children who gladly watch their sister. Allison is old enough to listen to reason and knows what the expectations are when Mom & Dad are gone. We can leave her with her siblings without thinking twice.

I make a point to get made-up and dressed-up for these outings. I silence my phone and check it infrequently (just in case the kids need something). I shake off whatever worry might be weighing on me – who wants to go on a date with a worrywart? Me neither. I try to be the date I’d want to have – no nagging (not that I EVER do this anyway), no worrying, no conversation about kids. I focus on being happy, forgetting about work and the harried world we live in, looking into his eyes and making him feel like the center of the universe.

These have been, by far, the best gifts I’ve ever given. As it turns out, they’ve been one of the greatest gifts I’ve received as well. They have been the most fun and life-renewing. They’ve created lasting memories and moments of connection that have strengthened our marriage.

If you haven’t gifted like this before, it might be worth a try. You have to go all-in though with your focus on being a fun date – even if you don’t feel it at first. Discuss the rules for the date ahead of time. Relax and enjoy. Who knew YOU would be the greatest gift of all? 

Us. April 2013

Hodge Podge Dinner

Who wishes they didn’t have to think of what to make for dinner every night? Me too. I started doing the Fresh 20 program I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. This is a program where you buy 20 ingredients and with their recipes you make five meals. It’s been nice – when I have the organization to get it done. Life gets in the way sometimes – this week in particular.

It’s nice to know your family is getting a good, well-rounded nutritious meal. But sometimes, you just have wing it. You investigate what’s in the fridge and the pantry and throw caution to the wind – everyone eats what they want. It’s probably not ideal but it beats fast food any day of the week. I call it hodge podge dinner.

I love hodge podge dinner. Tonight, Rich had the Hawaiian Chicken I made last night – I just made him some new rice and veggies to go with it. Alex had a cheese burger with left-over chili cheese dip and chips. Allison had (her favorite) orange soup – which is not tomato soup (according to her) because it’s not red and she doesn’t like tomatoes. I had a cheeseburger and some of Rich’s rice.

The great thing about hodge podge dinner is everyone goes away happy. Everyone gets to have what they want to eat and I get to put dinner on the table in 20 minutes or less. Win-win.

As you can see in the picture below, hodge podge dinner is a little messy but I can live with that one night a week or so. What would be included in your hodge podge dinner?

From Cruelty to Clarity

You wouldn’t believe the cruel things I’ve been told throughout the years – by regular people AND professionals. Maybe you would. From another human: “You’re an unfit mother because you’re a food addict.” From a doctor in Florida whom I was asking for help: “You just need to push yourself away from the table.” Thank you both… These are just a couple of examples – there are so many more comments and insults that are being extricated in the Spring Cleaning of the Mind I wrote about last.

The reason I’m so focused on all of this lately is that I have lost and then regained the same 10 pounds three times in the last five months. Something has me stuck here. I’m not sure what it is but I have to get to the bottom of it in order to get past this place. So, I’m researching the reasons people overeat…trying to wrap my head around what’s completely baffled me for years.

As I wrote in February of this year, after the F.A.S.T. Conference:

We came away from this conference inspired! We were not told that

we got the way we are because of some outside influence we should

blame. We were told that this is the way we are – this is the hand we

were dealt. We are eaters – the lot of us. There’s no quick fix. We were

told that we deserve everything we want in life IF we take personal

responsibility and work really hard. What a concept!

I believe all of this to be true. I have taken personal responsibility. I have worked REALLY hard. Yet, my analytical mind wants to know the “why?” – how did this happen and why can’t I continue to make forward progress? Is it a wiring problem in my brain? Is it a neurotransmitter or hormone imbalance? Do I have overactive opioid receptors that make me respond to food as a drug addict would to cocaine? Is my psyche nearly irreparably damaged? These are all cited as reasons people overeat – these and our culture – an overabundance of food in conjunction with constant commercials, signs, and pop-ups on our computer encouraging us to eat more.

I won’t know about my hormones, neurotransmitters or opioid receptors unless I volunteer for some medical study or another. I probably won’t. The research I’ve done says an awareness of these imbalances and how they affect your brain and body may be enough. You’ll be able to curb eating by checking in with yourself – is this real hunger? Or is this something else? Awareness, apparently, can go a long way.

As far as my psyche goes, it’s mostly fine. There is one, not-so-tiny caveat - the last time I weighed what I weigh now was twenty-two years ago. I have to take into account that I was in an unhealthy relationship at that time and some memory of those stressed and unhappy years may be weaseling in and working against me. Like muscle memory, could there be ‘size memory?’ That just means more Spring Cleaning…more countering of the inner critic who’s been wreaking havoc for years using someone else’s voice…not my own.

In so many ways, this journey has been about finding my voice: asking for what I need, putting myself first, sticking up for what I believe in. Next, I need to allow my own voice to be the loudest one in my head while filtering out all the noise from other sources unconcerned with my well-being. I’m convinced that finding this clarity is the answer. 

Photo Courtesy of: www.care2.com

Spring Cleaning the Mind

Many of you already know that I’m spring cleaning – I love it! A cleaning service came to help with the actual cleaning part today. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend it to anyone! I still have to get through the decluttering and reorganizing (cupboards, closets, storage room), treat all of our wood with oil, and do touch-up painting. That’s all before we get started with outside. I’m sure you have a to-do list that's similar. Part of the decluttering includes getting a dozen or so magazines read and thrown away.

In doing so, I read an article by Martha Beck that hit me like a ton of bricks. This particular part is what got me: “Many people think that self-hatred is a catalyst for positive change. Au contraire. Reject anything about yourself – your bad habits, your appearance, your impulse to laugh uncontrollably at funerals – and you’ll get brief, white-knuckle attempts at self-improvement that consistently end in relapse.” I know. My jaw hit the floor, too, especially in light of the difficulty I’ve been having lately. I had to take mental inventory of whether I’d actually ever MET Martha Beck. It was one of those she’s-talking-about-me-and-everyone-is-staring moments.

I don’t know where this self-hatred comes from in us. Scientists say we tend to focus more on the negative and that we’re more likely to remember a negative situation than a positive one. We’re a fun group. Why would this be ingrained? Is it some sort of survival mechanism? Are we just automatically playing back, in our mind, every negative thing that was ever said to or about us? Why can’t we let it all go?

Part of the problem in this day-and-age is probably the to-do list I mentioned earlier. We’ve got so much on our lists – at home and at work. We rarely, if ever, get it all done. We always see ourselves as deficient. It’s more than that, though – our bodies aren’t perfect, we’re not as smart as the next guy, we don’t make as much money as the Jones’, we’re not as successful as our friend. The list goes on.

What can we do to combat the self-flagellation with every alleged misstep? It takes a lot of practice, I think – a lot of talking back to the inner critic. In addition, we need to purposefully take the time to speak to ourselves in a gentle manner. To start this, I’m going to try to take 10 minutes or so a day to sit with my eyes closed (without falling asleep) and list the things I’m grateful for – including some things about myself. I know it sounds like just another thing to put on that to-do list but bear with me.

To do this right, there are a couple things we have to forget about: the first is what everyone else can do to make us feel better about ourselves (they can’t – this is a one-man show) and the second is what we need to have happen (more money, bigger house, weight loss) in order to feel better about ourselves. We are who we were intended to be…and, even if we’ve been sort of a downer (to ourselves) in the past, we’re over that! Let’s start living like we love ourselves and like we believe in our innate goodness. We really do have that choice and it sounds so much better to me than the alternative. 

Photo courtesy of: universal-mindpower.com

Elvis and Grandma

Yesterday at our church’s Easter Services we had a guest vocalist sing “How Great Thou Art” and as a congregation we sang, “In the Garden (and he walks with me and he talks with me).” These songs were both on my Grandma Erickson’s Elvis Presley Gospel Album (released in 1967) titled “How Great Thou Art.” I remember playing that album and singing these songs at her house (and at church) throughout the years.

The Easter Celebration combined with these songs was very emotional for me and it spurred a discussion between Allison and me about my very stoic, German Grandmother. She lived across the yard from us on the farm all the while I was growing up. It saddens me that I’ve finally come to a much better understanding of her thirteen years after her death.

I eulogized her then. I wish I could do it over again. I would include the fact that she was a widowed farm-wife in rural South Dakota with five children in the early 1960’s when she was in her early-fifties. This, after the death of my Grandfather from pancreatic cancer, which must have been even more horrible to witness than it is in this day-and-age. This was not an easy life. She never remarried. She spent her life working hard and practicing faith in God. She had few close friends but her sisters, one son and one daughter lived nearby. She was proud of all of her family. Unfortunately, I think a lot of us misinterpreted her concern for us as criticism which closed off communication rather than stimulating it.

She was a proud woman trying to prevent us from the judgment of others by preemptively thinking of those things that might hurt us and pointing them out – which had us running for cover – because we didn’t ‘sit like ladies’ or we ‘looked a little chunky’ in that outfit or ‘we didn’t keep our rooms clean’ like we should. All of those things were true. They just weren’t delivered in the warm-fuzzy manner we would have preferred. She was never taught to value ‘warm and fuzzy.’ There was work to be done. Honesty was the best policy.

My appreciation for all of her idiosyncrasies comes from maturity, I suppose, but also a better understanding of truth and the impressions left on us by the path on which life takes us. Like all of us, Grandma was doing the best she could with what she had – with the experiences she had growing up, with the hand she was dealt as an adult. She had a life filled with loss, loneliness and struggle.

Through it all, she loved her family dearly. She worked hard. She did her best and wanted the best for us. When it comes down to it, that’s all we can expect of anyone, including ourselves. If you love and appreciate someone (especially those with some idiosyncrasies of their own), tell them just that while they are still here with us. 

The cemetary behind this church is where my Grandparents are buried.

Sunshine and Happiness

“When the sun is shining I can do anything; no mountain is too high, no trouble too difficult to overcome.” ~ Wilma Rudolph

I’m not your typical sun-loving person who has chosen to live life close to the beach or in the desert. As a teenager, I remember slathering myself with baby oil and putting a mixture of lemon juice and mayonnaise (highlights AND moisturizer!) in my hair before going out to lie in the sun. Lie in the sun in the dry farm grass that poked through my towel…trying carefully to avoid the cactus in the backyard. It was obviously pretty glamorous and probably why I was such a fashion icon in high school!

Since then, I have had limited exposure to the sun even in Florida where we lived for awhile. Nebraska (who would’ve known?) gets crazy hot, much like Florida, and we’ve been searching for shade all summer since we’ve lived here.

That was true (at least for me) until I started running outdoors. I knew I was deficient in Vitamin D from a blood test done a few years ago, so I’ve taken a Vitamin D supplement since. There’s nothing like the sun, though, to revive and rejuvenate me and provide that natural source Vitamin D.

I don’t think I have what would be considered Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I can feel the slide into a funk starting about February every year. That’s when winter is just getting too long for me. I crave the sun and try to get outside whenever I can – even though the sun seems so far away that I don’t get the life-affirming warmth from it that I love in the spring, summer and fall. That’s why the trip to California in early February this year was so great! It was just what I needed at just the right time.

This time of year – when the sky is changing because the tilt of the earth is causing the sun and the moon to seem closer – I love the feeling of being out in it. I especially love the feeling of running in it. I don’t know if it’s because, after all of these years, I’ve shed a few thermal layers but I’m cold most of the time now, so I love the feeling of the sun warming me to my bones and simultaneously brightening my mental outlook.

Pay attention next time you’re out in the warm sun (slathered in sunscreen, not baby oil!). See if it doesn’t help you feel so much better – physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s all good!

Failure is Not an Option

“When you remember to love you, and take care of you first, everything else tends to fall into place.” ~ Mandy Hale

Today was the first day back on plan. Why do I feel like I’ve done this two-hundred times? Oh…because I have? Sure. Alright.

I have…because I’m not quitting. I’m not giving up on me. Depending on which statistic you read or believe 80-95 percent of dieters will gain back all of their weight (and usually more) within five years. How depressing and demoralizing.

Reasons the studies cite for these failures are that the hunger hormone ghrelin increases and makes us hungrier than we were before we lost the weight while the fullness hormone leptin decreases, so we don’t feel as full. All of the studies admit they don’t know enough about obesity yet to be prescriptive with a solution. None of them detail how they had the subjects lose weight. Most of them had the subjects lose 10 percent of their body weight. Many of them had more than half of their subjects drop out before they lost the 10 percent.

The reason I’d like to know how they lost the weight is because I think it makes a huge difference if you lose the weight while recording your food intake so you see what you feel good eating – like how much fiber, protein and carbohydrate feel right in your body. Like how much more full and satisfied you feel eating fruits and vegetables and real protein sources (cheese, chicken, fish, lean beef/pork) rather than grabbing fast food or those little boxed frozen dinners with four bites of fake food in them.

Or did they use a program like Jenny Craig where all of your meals are provided and you don’t learn to do it yourself? We have to learn how to do this right to do it for good. We have to learn what makes us feel like we want to feel. We have to learn to ask for what we need – the time to work-out, the time to plan a menu that includes healthy snacks, the support and understanding of our friends and family. And we have to learn to be a little thick-skinned and ask wait-staff for what we want in restaurants and just smile when our well-meaning friends say things like, “Don’t you think you’ll look like a bobble-head if you lose that much weight?”

One of the reasons I went with the F.A.S.T. program is they had a greater than 90 percent success rate at three years. They were only in business three years when I started with them. I don’t know any updated statistics. They provide the accountability, which I know I need, of checking in every night and weekly weigh-ins. I can call them anytime I have an implosion. They help me find my way. They also have a program to teach you how to be vigilant and maintain the weight-loss.

Thus far, I’ve lost just over 30 percent of my body weight. I’m not going back. You couldn’t drag me back to that place kicking and screaming. Despite the last 5 days, when I was not loving myself and not putting myself first, I’m still on track to get to goal October 3^rd. I’m still slated to run all the races I have planned for the season. I’m still in the game. In the words of those dudes at N.A.S.A. in the ‘60’s – “failure is not an option.” I feel like I have my very own Ground Control and success is one day closer.

Photo courtesy of: leaderswhocare.com

Balance and Quiet Insides

I saw a quote yesterday that said, “Don’t let being perfect get in the way of being good.” It’s so true.

But what about those times I don’t feel like being perfect or good or even mediocre? I feel like forgoing exercise because I’m exhausted. I feel like eating as much as I choose without pausing to count any of the calories I’m inhaling. I would be astonished if I knew...if I allowed myself to stop and think it through.

I wanted to be done with this. I wanted to stay perfect for 100 days. Then I allowed in the insidious feeling of the entire world on my shoulders. That makes it all fall apart. Unfortunately, whatever we accept as our worry becomes ours. Whatever worry we choose to focus on makes our minds and bodies feel as though they’re going through that very experience.

I don’t even know where it came from. I think it’s just a matter of slipping into old behaviors…becoming complacent and allowing perfectionism in uninvited. Taken in all at once, the world can be heavy and noisy – we have to protect ourselves from it. Take it in small doses or it’s all too much.

So today, I’m practicing laying it down. I don’t need to carry most things. Most things are not even mine to carry. I can be better about saying the Serenity Prayer instead of worrying. I can be better about delegating chores and other household duties. It doesn’t all have to fall on me.

For instance, I’ve been worried about finding time to do Spring Cleaning even before it was time to do it. How would I fit that into an already tight schedule? I also have to do touch-up painting, clean out and organize the storage room, clean cupboards, and I have at least one new garden area planned. How…and when will this all get done?

So, I’ve decided to hire someone to do my Spring Cleaning. She comes Thursday to give me an estimate. Provided she doesn’t run screaming from the house, I should have a lovely, clean home in a week or so. Then I can make time for the rest. I already feel like some of the weight has been lifted.

I’ve also got people coming to repair the gates of our fence after they sustained some damage in a high wind last Fall, someone coming to replace a window well, and someone coming to steam clean my carpet and tile. I can’t wait until it’s all done!

While those are just the more superficial worries, it’s nice to have them tamed. Are you good at asking for help? Give it a try with something small and see if you can’t feel your shoulders lighten a bit. See if the world doesn’t seem quite so heavy or noisy anymore. Then try it with some bigger issues. Like anything, it takes practice and perseverance but it’s definitely a skill worth learning. You won’t find the necessary balance of life without it.

What my noisy insides feel like sometimes....

If Summer Ever Comes

I’ve loved lettuce wraps since the first time I had them at P.F. Changs years ago. I’ve looked for the recipe a number of times but I’ve never done the calorie breakdown and taken the time to make them. It doesn't take much time at all. I didn’t know what I would serve them with and I let that be a roadblock for awhile.

Tonight I’m serving them with Baked Potato Soup. I bet they don’t serve them with Potato Soup at P.F. Changs…but it’ll do for us. They are light and yummy and have the perfect level of spice. I will be serving these as a meal with fruit this summer – if summer ever comes!

They’re supposed to be made with ground chicken but I didn’t have that, I just had chicken breasts. I cut the meat up in tiny chunks but I think it would be better ground. Next time. I used only half the Hoisin Sauce the recipe calls for to make it less runny. I topped them with a southwest mixture of lettuce and cabbage.

We love these. I hope you do, too!

Recipe:

P.F. Chang's Lettuce Wraps

Nutrition Facts for 128grams:

• Calories: 245
• Fat: 14.1
• Carbs: 9.3
• Fiber: 0.5
• Protein: 26.9

Shades of Gray

I ate too much last night…dumplings and flourless peanut butter cookies. This…after thirty-four perfect days! It’s so disappointing. I’ve done this before, of course. Often times, I’ve lied about it and just kept going – recording false numbers to submit at the end of the night. Beginning in early February of this year, though – I committed to doing it right and learning everything I can to get this right for a lifetime.

Part of that commitment includes the caveat that if I can’t do it perfectly, I will call the people at F.A.S.T. to let them know what’s going on. I won’t just gloss over the mistakes (read lie) and trudge forward without being accountable and making a course correction.

You’d think I’d have learned by now that lying to myself (or anyone else) is a bad idea that gets me nowhere. As with so many other situations, looking at life in terms that are too black and white can hurt you and those around you. Human behavior and the world we live in are made up of SO many shades of gray. Expecting perfection of anyone (even yourself) is unrealistic and will ultimately end in disappointment.

The response I got when I called was that I was still 97% perfect over the last thirty-five days. The message was that I’m still learning – to keep going, forgive myself, and not be discouraged. I’ve been told that before. I’m more open to hearing it now. I understand that I’m in training. That it’ll come. I’m confident that, regardless of last night, I’m going to get this right for good.

In the meantime, I’m learning to take it easy on myself and others. I’m aware that everyone has struggles – public or private – and they could use a kind word, an encouraging smile, and another chance to get it right.

Black and white thinking, judgment and prejudice are based in irrational fear and hate. They serve to make us less tolerant of everyone and give us a false sense of superiority. When we turn black and white thinking and judgment on ourselves it’s typically out of fear and regret. It’s equally as ugly and damaging to us as it is to anyone else.

What could we be thinking? Why does it make sense to do that to anyone, but, particularly to ourselves? I’m finding out that the bulk of this training has nothing to do with food. It has to do with the practice of forgiveness and appreciation for the varied and beautiful shades of gray…mine...and yours.

Photo courtesy of: thousandshadesofgray.com

A New Frontier

You know how I love my soup! There are times I want to make them homemade – do all the chopping and measuring myself. But, sometimes I want spend my time doing other things like reading or writing, cleaning, or just hanging out with the family. That’s when Frontier Soups come in handy.

I know you can buy these mixes at Whole Foods but they’re sold other places, too. Or, you can buy them online. A couple of weeks ago I made the Minnesota Heartland Eleven Bean Soup and Michigan Ski Country Chili. They were both delicious. The chili is made with red wine and the flavor is deep, warm and wonderful.

The next one, that’s on my list to get today, is Colorado Campfire Chicken Stew. The picture makes it look like the inside of a Chicken Pot Pie. Yum! Most of the Frontier Soups I’ve made have taken a few hours to cook because they have beans in them. They also have soup varieties that are ready quickly like South of the Border Tortilla Soup or Virginia Blue Ridge Broccoli Cheddar Soup.

They use the best ingredients and no sodium, MSG or preservatives. Each one comes with its own spice packet. They offer twenty-five gluten-free varieties and eleven vegetarian soups! These probably aren’t soups you’d make every week, but once a month or so (particularly in the winter months), it’s nice to make a meal you don’t have to think about that still meets your requirement for a flavorful and healthy meal for your family.

Give them a try and let me know which ones you think are the best! 

Michigan Ski Country Chili

A Little Change in Perspective

I think we’re supposed to learn as we grow up that change is inevitable and really essential to our successful maturity. I’ve continually found myself feeling a little behind. I’ve always been taken completely by surprise with change and, in most cases, tried to resist it as long as I could. It’s taken many years for me to accept change as a part of living and I’m still working on accepting problems as necessary for growth.

In my job as a Nurse Practitioner people come to me for help because they have health problems they can’t solve on their own. In another part of that job, I function as the Clinical Consultant for the Emergency Department. That means it’s my job to make sure our staff knows the latest evidence-based practice, that they’re doing a good job documenting the great care they’re giving, and I review processes to improve our quality and effectiveness as a department. A majority of my time at work is spent solving problems. Yours probably is, too, just different ones. So, if you’re like me, you need to adjust your focus now and then. We can’t be disheartened by the constant onslaught of problems when the solving of these problems is what ensures our continued employment.

After work, though, you can come home and just relax, right? I know, me neither. The problems can be small like scheduling issues with activities – horse lessons have been changed to Fridays. Violin lessons are on Fridays. We have to do some juggling. It’s not a big deal – just something unexpected that popped up. The much larger issues are things like, “Mom, I need $600 for textbooks. Today.” Or, “You’re going to be a grandmother.” Wow. The $600 is not unusual – we’ve all had unexpected expenses – sometimes much more staggering than that…they’ll never go away. I’m certain this grand-baby will be a wonderful blessing despite the unusual circumstances. We will all love this child more than we can imagine. So we must, collectively, relax, focus on what’s most important, and find our way through it together.

Want to try having a different perspective for awhile? Let’s just try it for one day – whatever problems arise, we’ll look at them as a challenge and just start thinking of solutions. Sometimes the solutions take awhile – longer than just a day – we’ll make that okay, too, if only for a day. Try to think about why this problem developed – could it have been avoided with earlier action (are you a procrastinator?) or is the problem there to improve you in some way? Maybe we’ll all feel a little lighter – more positive. Maybe life will seem more manageable just for having shifted our thinking even for one day. Maybe we'll want to try it every day. I’m starting tomorrow…when are you?

Shift your focus from problems to enjoyment of a sunset like this...

Does Anything Say 'Love' Like Biscuits and Gravy?

Kids make you get out of your comfort zone in so many ways – they make you experience life more. Admittedly, this is a pretty insignificant example of this but it's an example just the same! Last week-end Alex wanted biscuits and gravy for breakfast. After he suggested it, I wanted it too. I haven’t had good biscuits and gravy for years. I tried once last year and it turned out to be a salty mess.

This time I used Pioneer Woman's Drop Biscuits and Gravy recipe. It was perfect. It was even better – more flavorful - left-over. Hers is made with homemade drop biscuits. I made ours with gluten-free Pamela’s drop biscuits. I like the fact that it’s made with drop biscuits. You won’t see me cutting out biscuits in the morning! Who am I kidding? I don't cut out biscuits...ever. I made the gravy with Gluten-Free Pantry’s all-purpose flour.

The only down-side was that two biscuits and 104 grams of the sausage gravy came to 397 calories! Add my morning coffee to that and I ended breakfast at 537 calories – over a third of what I’m allotted for the day! That made me cringe a little. But, every now and then, it’s worth the trade-off to have something wonderful and settle for less calories later.

The way to do that successfully is to plan the rest of the day eating things that are high in protein and high in fiber. That day, I had 16 strawberries and a half-cup of cottage cheese for lunch. I ate less for lunch and snack but about the same at dinner. It all worked out just fine. I psyche myself out a bit too much when things like this happen. I need to relax and enjoy the meals I make, not suck the joy out of them with my anxiety about how the rest of the day will go.

For many of us, there is a lot of joy in food. There is joy in making and sharing food. We love those around us with food. That’s just the way we are. We come from a long line of the same. Try these biscuits and gravy this week-end – just plan your day well. Share them, and the love and joy that go with them, with your family…and maybe me!

Nutrition Facts:

Pamela’s Drop Biscuits (one but I had two with this meal)

(the recipe calls for Crisco, which I leave out and they turn out just fine) 

• Calories: 87
• Fat: 4.6
• Carbs: 14.3
• Fiber: 1.5
• Protein: 2.7

Sausage Gravy (104 g) 

• Calories: 253
• Fat: 9.3
• Carbs: 13.1
• Fiber: 0
• Protein: 7.5