I Check Out

This isn’t the first time. I’ve done it before. I suppose everyone does to an extent. When my brain and body detect danger and feel that to-the-core fear (you know the one), I check out of all non-vital activities in my life.

This happened in some form or another:

·         Those first weeks after I found out my first husband was having an affair

·         When Rich had brain surgery

·         When my sister was critically ill and pregnant

·         When Adam deployed to Afghanistan and most recently;

·         This last week, when Allison was sick then hospitalized with a rare and bizarre but non-life threatening illness

This checking out is the flight, fight or freeze response in slow motion. A conscious decision on my part to compartmentalize what I can and cannot (will or will not) manage. Some of it is healthy: I couldn’t reasonably work while my daughter was hospitalized and postponing email and mail for a week can be a good practice every now and again.

What I’ve learned is that shutting down or checking out of healthy habits (eating well, exercise and getting good sleep) doesn’t make any of it easier. In fact, it probably makes it more difficult because there’s this big mountain of electronic and actual “paperwork” awaiting my emergence. I feel sluggish and foggy. I contemplated cancelling the trip I’ve planned to the New England states with my sister and parents. We leave next weekend and it felt too soon. I was allowing myself to continue to see the world through the lens of fear and exhaustion – anticipating everything that would go wrong at home in my absence.

Today, I start accurately recording my food intake again. I start exercising with a vengeance. I will get through all the mail, pay bills and even plan some excursions in the New England states for next week. Tomorrow work resumes. The next day, I will feel so much better – healthy and full of energy. Rather than anticipating any catastrophes, I will take my own advice and give love, choose joy and practice gratitude.

From: Yourlifeyourway.net

 

 

My Favorite Summer Food

Next to watermelon BLT's are, hands down, my favorite summer food. There's something so clean-tasting about them and when the tomatoes are bursting with flavor they can't be beat. It's easy to package the ingredients in baggies and take them to work. You'll have the lunch that's the envy of everyone!

The BLT below is made on Udi's Omega Flax and Fiber bread, so the meal, with some fruit added has plenty of fiber. I don't count the two slices of tomato or the two leaves of lettuce, but here's the calorie count for the bread, 1 tbsp. mayo and two slices of bacon:

Calories: 300
Fat: 15.5
Carbohydrates: 24
Fiber: 6
Protein: 10

Enjoy!

 

The Zone

Every once in awhile, I need a change in perspective; typically it’s when I’m feeling overwhelmed with the busy-ness of life and prioritizing everyone else’s needs above my own. This time overwhelm has reared its ugly head because of a temporary houseful of big kids and the chaos that inevitably follows them, a beautiful new grandchild, my own back injury and the return of the sometimes frenetic Fall school schedule. I have learned, through the years, that I’m pretty horrible at delegating anything. I don’t use the word “no” often enough.

A change in perspective comes after some rest and after I’ve set some boundaries, delegated a few things, and claimed some time for myself. After all that, my perspective alters, and I can see that everything on the list above has been a gift.

Allison struggles with perspective mostly at night when she’s afraid of things that go “bump,” imaginary eyes peaking out of an open closet, or an impending nightmare. At these times, I have no problem explaining to her that she’s in control of her own thoughts; that she gets to decide what goes on in her own mind. I make it sound so easy.

I’ve been in The Zone before, when the whole world feels not only bearable, but joyful and radiant and just as it should be. It’s not a matter of all things having gone right or “my way” during that time. It was just a matter of perspective; of keeping my eye on what’s really important. The recipe is and always has been there. I just need to follow it:

• Eat well.
• Exercise daily.
• Sleep 7-8 hours/night.
• Set appropriate boundaries so all of the above can take place.
• Practice gratitude (at least) daily.
• Incorporate fun into everyday life.
• Don’t take myself too seriously.

Along with these things, I’d like to incorporate meditation. I’ve tried it a couple of times but so far I’m terrible at it. The directions I’ve read say to start by focusing on the space between your thoughts and make those spaces bigger. The spaces between my racing thoughts are squished together and I haven’t been able to get in there yet, at least not long enough to make it meaningful. How great does just 10 minutes of quiet time in the early morning sound – maybe while watching the sunrise? All the better if it makes the rest of my day pass more calmly and smoothly.

If you’re a fan of Pearl Jam, like I am – you can try an exercise in change of perspective with their song Yellow Ledbetter. First, listen to a YouTube version of it below and try to hear every word (it’s long, so you don’t have to listen to it all). Okay…go!

Listening for the words to this one stresses me out!

Now, listen to it without the expectation of words, as though he’s using laryngealisation like Enya or someone similar…

Isn’t it so much better?

I find that so useful because it shows how quickly perspective can be changed. The bottom line, for me, is I have to remember that I have this one life. I can choose to be stressed-out, angry, short-tempered, and judgy or I can choose to be the person I want to be. I want to be someone who’s calm, with warm, welcoming eyes and a smile to match, loving, forgiving and empathetic, someone who lives, as Brene Brown puts it “Wholeheartedly.” Someone I’d like to spend some quality time with.

The choice seems pretty simple: I’m changing my perspective and getting in The Zone today. You?