Sloth and Chocolate

I think I left my mojo in California. Shawn? Heather? Caroline? Have you seen it? It’s a little hard to describe but you’d know it if you saw it. It’s a bummer that it’s missing. I could really use it about now.

People use the term “mojo” to mean many different things these days. Merriam and Webster says it’s probably of African origin: a magic spell, hex or charm; magical power.

That is hilarious when you consider that I use it to signify when I am in sync – exercise, sleep, work, home, food – all in balance. It apparently requires magical powers for this to happen! Every once in awhile though – sometimes for weeks at a time, it happens.

My mojo is most definitely missing. I had M&Ms today. I had popcorn. Either of them are completely fine to have in and of themselves – but I had them over and above the calories I already had planned for the day. Plus…a few chocolate chips. I didn’t work out yesterday or today. I’m going to diet hell…in a hand basket. I’ll probably see some of you there.

On the days when my mojo is missing, nothing seems important. All the work I’ve done so far seems miniscule compared to the want for sloth and chocolate. Even with it’s shiny packages and warm, soft couch cushions, it’s a bad place to be. It’s a worse place from which to get out.

Even as I’m in it, I can hear a nagging from somewhere in the center of me, saying things like, “You don’t want to do that” and “That’s not going to make you feel good.” As I listen, I know. I suppose it’s like people who drink too much. They know they won’t feel good in the morning…but they do it anyway.

To get my mojo back, I usually need a good night’s sleep, an increase in protein and a rededication to do this right. Rededication comes from before and after photos, reviewing how it feels when I’m healthy and how it feels when I’m not, and reminding myself about how the M&Ms and popcorn felt on an already full belly and how that made them not taste very good. Blah.  

I will start tomorrow anew. I will exercise with vigor. I will count all of the food I put in. It will feel good to be back there. Will I be perfect forever? No. No one is. Will I keep trying every day? Yes. Unfortunately, mojo (much like his more straight-laced cousin, motivation) usually does not sweep in and save the day. It comes later, after a few days of following my plan perfectly. That feeling shows up after all the hard work is over, like that person who comes in at the last minute to take all the credit on a project. Mojo’s very dynamic and fun, though, so I like him.

I’m reminded also that “bad days” are no match for what “bad days” used to be. These M&M’s I had were in one serving packets, not Pounder-size. I ran a half-marathon for the first time 5 days ago. I will run again tomorrow. I’ll not have missed a beat. The flavors of the foods I love, that love me back – fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken – will beckon me and I will love how my body feels when being fueled by this good food.

I will have time this week-end to plan meals and get organized. Mojo will show up around the middle of next week. Just in time to see my eyes start to sparkle and my skin clear and the lilt return to my step. Just you wait and see. 

The hamburger I chose as my protein source tonight.

Back-on-track step one: complete.