This happened
in some form or another:
·
Those
first weeks after I found out my first husband was having an affair
·
When
Rich had brain surgery
·
When
my sister was critically ill and pregnant
·
When
Adam deployed to Afghanistan and most recently;
·
This
last week, when Allison was sick then hospitalized with a rare and bizarre but
non-life threatening illness
This checking
out is the flight, fight or freeze response in slow motion. A conscious
decision on my part to compartmentalize what I can and cannot (will or will
not) manage. Some of it is healthy: I couldn’t reasonably work while my
daughter was hospitalized and postponing email and mail for a week can be a
good practice every now and again.
What I’ve
learned is that shutting down or checking out of healthy habits (eating well,
exercise and getting good sleep) doesn’t make any of it easier. In fact, it
probably makes it more difficult because there’s this big mountain of
electronic and actual “paperwork” awaiting my emergence. I feel sluggish and
foggy. I contemplated cancelling the trip I’ve planned to the New England states
with my sister and parents. We leave next weekend and it felt too soon. I was
allowing myself to continue to see the world through the lens of fear and
exhaustion – anticipating everything that would go wrong at home in my absence.
Today, I
start accurately recording my food intake again. I start exercising with a
vengeance. I will get through all the mail, pay bills and even plan some
excursions in the New England states for next week. Tomorrow work resumes. The
next day, I will feel so much better – healthy and full of energy. Rather than anticipating
any catastrophes, I will take my own advice and give love, choose joy and practice
gratitude.
From: Yourlifeyourway.net
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