The Zone

Every once in awhile, I need a change in perspective; typically it’s when I’m feeling overwhelmed with the busy-ness of life and prioritizing everyone else’s needs above my own. This time overwhelm has reared its ugly head because of a temporary houseful of big kids and the chaos that inevitably follows them, a beautiful new grandchild, my own back injury and the return of the sometimes frenetic Fall school schedule. I have learned, through the years, that I’m pretty horrible at delegating anything. I don’t use the word “no” often enough.

A change in perspective comes after some rest and after I’ve set some boundaries, delegated a few things, and claimed some time for myself. After all that, my perspective alters, and I can see that everything on the list above has been a gift.

Allison struggles with perspective mostly at night when she’s afraid of things that go “bump,” imaginary eyes peaking out of an open closet, or an impending nightmare. At these times, I have no problem explaining to her that she’s in control of her own thoughts; that she gets to decide what goes on in her own mind. I make it sound so easy.

I’ve been in The Zone before, when the whole world feels not only bearable, but joyful and radiant and just as it should be. It’s not a matter of all things having gone right or “my way” during that time. It was just a matter of perspective; of keeping my eye on what’s really important. The recipe is and always has been there. I just need to follow it:

• Eat well.
• Exercise daily.
• Sleep 7-8 hours/night.
• Set appropriate boundaries so all of the above can take place.
• Practice gratitude (at least) daily.
• Incorporate fun into everyday life.
• Don’t take myself too seriously.

Along with these things, I’d like to incorporate meditation. I’ve tried it a couple of times but so far I’m terrible at it. The directions I’ve read say to start by focusing on the space between your thoughts and make those spaces bigger. The spaces between my racing thoughts are squished together and I haven’t been able to get in there yet, at least not long enough to make it meaningful. How great does just 10 minutes of quiet time in the early morning sound – maybe while watching the sunrise? All the better if it makes the rest of my day pass more calmly and smoothly.

If you’re a fan of Pearl Jam, like I am – you can try an exercise in change of perspective with their song Yellow Ledbetter. First, listen to a YouTube version of it below and try to hear every word (it’s long, so you don’t have to listen to it all). Okay…go!

Listening for the words to this one stresses me out!

Now, listen to it without the expectation of words, as though he’s using laryngealisation like Enya or someone similar…

Isn’t it so much better?

I find that so useful because it shows how quickly perspective can be changed. The bottom line, for me, is I have to remember that I have this one life. I can choose to be stressed-out, angry, short-tempered, and judgy or I can choose to be the person I want to be. I want to be someone who’s calm, with warm, welcoming eyes and a smile to match, loving, forgiving and empathetic, someone who lives, as Brene Brown puts it “Wholeheartedly.” Someone I’d like to spend some quality time with.

The choice seems pretty simple: I’m changing my perspective and getting in The Zone today. You?