I ran across an article recently titled, “How to Love an
Empath.” Before I read that, I knew that I had exceptional intuition and
overactive empathy. I just didn’t know they went together and I certainly
didn’t know anyone needed strategies for how to love someone like me
Dr. Judith Orloff
explains what an emotional empath is:
Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned
instruments when it comes
to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an
extreme, and are
less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is
the filter through which
they experience the world. Empaths are naturally
giving, spiritually
attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart,
empaths have got it.
Through thick and thin, they’re there for you,
world-class nurturers.
The trademark of empaths is that they know where
you’re coming from.
Some can do this without taking on people’s
feelings. However, for better
or worse, others, like myself and many of my
patients, can become angst-
sucking sponges. This often overrides the sublime
capacity to absorb
positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If
empaths are around peace
and love, their bodies assimilate these and
flourish. Negativity, though,
often feels assaultive, exhausting. Thus, they’re
particularly easy marks
for emotional vampires, whose fear or rage can
ravage empaths. As a
subconscious defense, they may gain weight as a
buffer.
How many of you can identify the emotional vampires you’ve
known by name? Raise your hand! Me too! I’ve called them “joy-sucking vortexes”
– same diff.
I wrote about this a little bit in Grave
Injustices last year. I didn’t know what to call it then, but it showed
that I’d started listening to my internal angst some and limiting things like
T.V. (particularly news). But I need to do more – listen to my body, mind and
soul when I need a break, some alone time to recharge and distance myself from
negativity – both online and in person that can suck my energy dry.
Over the years, I have had to (sometimes successfully,
sometimes not) step back, breathe and decide, “Is this my fight?” A lot of
times this has been at the urging of my husband after he’s witnessed how
certain things can emotionally ravage me; most of the time it’s not my fight.
The practice of letting go is ongoing…
Dr. Orloff’s quiz to see if you’re an empath will be
eye-opening, especially for my nurse friends:
QUIZ: AM I AN EMPATH?
Ask
yourself:
·
Have
I been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive?
·
If a
friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
·
Are
my feelings easily hurt?
·
Am I
emotionally drained by crowds, require time alone to revive?
·
Do my
nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?
·
Do I
prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
·
Do I
overeat to cope with emotional stress?
·
Am I
afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?
If you
answer “yes” to 1-3 of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding
“yes” to more than 3 indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.
Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first
step in taking charge of your
emotions instead of constantly drowning in them.
Staying on top of empathy will
improve your self-care and relationships.
It may be a little uncomfortable to admit but it’s also a
step in the right direction – discovering what to name these feelings and
knowing you’re not broken because you react this way. Knowing, as Dr. Orloff
says, “No.” is a one word sentence – use it when you need to. You don’t need
permission from anyone to do what you need to live comfortably in your own skin.
You don’t even have to explain, except to those people who love you and they
will understand and embrace you after you’ve had time to rejuvenate with some
silence and solitude.
My favorite meditation focus - solitude.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Post a comment