Good Clean Food

My favorite place to eat for the past year has been Chipotle, specifically, their chicken bowl sans rice: pinto beans, chicken, mild salsa, sour cream and cheese. It’s bursting with flavor and feels good on my belly. Since I quit gluten, I don’t typically have the boggy gut feeling after I eat anything – even the gluten-free pasta sits well. Chipotle gives an even better feeling – a good clean food feeling – you know the one. A bonus to this great feeling is they have a nutrition calculator on their website under MENU at Chipotle – so you can figure out your calories before you go! The website also discusses the vision of the restaurant and the integrity of the food.

I’ve made my version of chipotle at home using the recipes on this site: Chipotle Copycat Recipes It was good and very close to the restaurant version but it took some time. What I like to make more often, that gives me that same good-clean-food feeling is fajitas. I have a countertop Cuisinart Griddle/Grill. I grill all the ingredients for the fajitas on it. I prefer the texture of flour fajita wraps, but I’ve found some white corn ones that are also pretty soft and not so gritty.

Chicken Fajitas

4 Green Peppers, cleaned and sliced

2 Large Onions, sliced

4 Chicken breasts, sliced

Fajita spice of your choice – we use Market Pantry’s version

Sour Cream

Shredded Cheese

Slice vegetables on a cutting board first and sprinkle with fajita spice, tossing gently to distribute. I usually have to do two grill-full’s of each ingredient. You can cut the meat ahead of time and keep in the fridge with the fajita spice on it but I usually don’t – slice it on the cutting board and toss with fajita spice as well. I keep each ingredient covered as it gets done (8 min on the grill is usually enough for everything), so everything is warm when served. Assemble by placing 1 tbsp sour cream on one side of a fajita wrap, top with 1 oz chicken and as many veggies as you can fit, followed by 0.5 oz cheese – wrap up and enjoy! I serve with refried beans, chips and salsa.

Nutrition facts for 2 fajitas (2 wraps, 2oz chicken, 1 tbsp sour cream, 1 oz cheese):

*I don’t count the calories in the veggies as there’s not that many you can fit

Calories: 457

Fat: 24.2
Carbs: 15
Fiber: 0
Protein: 25.4

 

This picture is a left-over fajita because I forgot to get a picture on the first day!

They look so much better than this the first time...really...

This is Your Life...

It seems like just last week I wrote about turning 45. It wasn’t…it was a whole year ago and here I am – 46. Life is speeding by at a breakneck pace and I have so much I want to do, personally and professionally. Heck, I don’t know if I have enough time left (even if I live another half-century) to read all the books on my list!

I can’t help but think that part of the reason life flies by so fast is that I’m spending so much time worrying about what’s coming next, planning for this or that, and preparing for the other shoe to drop. Experts estimate that 85% of those things we worry about never happen. I’m wasting a lot of time.

This need to slow down and enjoy life a little more, is the reason for these particular New Year’s resolutions of mine:

#4. Learn how to do yoga and meditate

Last year I wrote about my love of running and the prospect of running my first half-marathon at 45…that was the last race I completed - February 2013. I still love running but there hasn’t been much of it for the last 6 months, since I slipped and fell on wet concrete stairs. Instead my time has been taken up visiting a chiropractor and working out on the gentler elliptical machine. There will be running again. In fact, Allison starts the Girls on the Run program in March and we plan to run a couple of races together this summer. Running is hard but the benefits of it, which spill over into all other areas of my life, outweigh my whininess and in the end, I love it for what it does for me.

Unfortunately, I now have the tailbone injury added to a tendency toward tendonitis, plantar faciitis and almost every other musculoskeletal-itis there is. My hope is that yoga will replace the chiropractor by keeping my muscles long and more flexible and my body properly aligned. I’m in the process of finding a great place to go that fits in my schedule. I’d like to take a private class…we’ll see what I find. Eventually, I’d prefer to do it at home but I know I need some instruction first.

I’ve tried meditating before. It’s a little like trying to read right beside a NASCAR track. My mind is the NASCAR track and every thought is a different car. It can get a little discouraging. The instructions I’ve read say to start slowly with just a minute or two and don’t fight the thoughts, just try to lengthen spaces between the thoughts. I will certainly try with the goal of slowing the racing thoughts, creating space to breathe, to relax and face the day open and calm.

To that end, this article by Lissa Rankin, MD really struck a chord with me. Grace, I guess, is what I’m striving for in all of my relationships; a way to be less reactive and look at the perspective of others; especially those closest to me. I’m practicing offering grace…and space to my adult children, in particular, to let them succeed or fail on their own and live lives entirely of their choosing.

Lissa Rankin's 10 tips for receiving criticism with grace

#8. Spend more time being creative: write, draw, craft, cook and photograph

Brene Brown says that if we stifle creativity, it doesn’t just go away. Unused creativity expresses itself in anxiety, tension and uneasiness. This is astonishing to me! I’m often so busy with my lists of things to get done that I feel like I’m wasting time if I sit down to read or write…let alone craft or photograph. Cooking is something I do anyway and finding new recipes is always fun for me. I’m excited to play more and use more of my time to be creative this year.

#11. Spend more time looking at the people I love with my undivided attention

“The eyes are the window to the soul.” – William Shakespeare

Is there anything better than really connecting with those we love? Connecting on Facebook has been so much fun for me. I love seeing pictures of family and friends and their children and grandchildren as well as reading interesting articles. I also have quite of few games of Words with Friends going. But, it’s time for me to put the phone or tablet down when it’s interfering with communication and connection that’s happening right in front of me.

I’m hoping to seal more memories in my mind and slow time down a bit by focusing on the moment, the loved one, the conversation – by making eye contact, then and there. Whether I’m putting Abby to sleep, or discussing any of the kids’ days, or having a conversation with Rich, I will pay attention in that moment – not worrying about what needs to be done next or what’s going on in the electronic world.

I try to keep Switchfoot’s lyric, “This is your life, are you who you want to be?” foremost in my mind as I decide what changes to make and what things to leave in place; when to say “no” and when to shout “yes!” I hope, in so doing, that this year of being 46-years-old will bring with it a life more tailored to me and those I love the most.

Oh Reuben, How I've Missed You!

I enjoy a good Reuben Sandwich. This is what Wikipedia has to say about its’ creation:

One account holds that Reuben Kulakofsky (sometimes spelled Reubin, or the last name shortened to Kay), a Lithuanian-born grocer from Omaha, Nebraska, was the inventor, perhaps as part of a group effort by members of Kulakofsky's weekly poker game held in the Blackstone Hotel from around 1920 through 1935. The participants, who nicknamed themselves "the committee", included the hotel's owner, Charles Schimmel. The sandwich first gained local fame when Schimmel put it on the Blackstone's lunch menu, and its fame spread when a former employee of the hotel won a national contest with the recipe.^[1]

Other accounts hold that the Reuben's creator was Arnold Reuben, the German owner of the once-famous, now defunct Reuben's Delicatessen in New York City,^[3] who, according to an interview with Craig Claiborne, invented the "Reuben special" around 1914.^[4] The earliest references in print to the sandwich are New York–based but that is not conclusive evidence, though the fact that the earliest, from a 1926 edition of Theatre Magazine, references a "Reuben special", does seem to take its cue from Arnold Reuben's menu.

I prefer to use the Reuben from Omaha history because, let’s face it, New York really has enough attributed to it.

When we were first married, we lived in Crestview, Florida. We were stationed at Eglin AFB. We discovered the Reuben Sandwich at Mia’s Restaurant there shortly after we arrived. We ate there weekly (I think on Mondays) for the 18 months we were there.

When we were transferred to Bellevue, NE we didn’t find a place close to home where we could get a good Reuben. We did find a great Mom & Pop Mexican restaurant (Lil Burro) that became our regular place to eat out. Then, 8 years later, we moved to Gretna. We had a 3-year-old and you know how fun they are to take out to eat! Besides, it’s pretty far from our house to any good restaurants so we just got out of the habit of eating out. Add to that, 2 ½ years ago I went gluten-free and by then the prospect of ever having a Reuben Sandwich again seemed all but impossible.

Enter my reinvigorated self this New Year! I’m dedicated to eating REALLY good, fun food. I enjoy food…A LOT…so when food gets boring, I can rebel a bit and not want to adhere to a well-balance diet. I want flavor and variety – something to look forward to, that makes my eyes light up. This is not a low calorie meal, so it will require some planning for the rest of the day, but it’s so worth it!

I used marble rye bread for the family and for mine I used my Udi’s Flax and Fiber bread. This bread is not fabulous but it’s good toasted and with a sandwich as flavorful as a Reuben, it’s perfect. I buttered both sides of the bread and toasted them on the griddle. They turned out so great! I hope you have time to try one soon!

Recipe:

Udi’s Flax and Fiber bread                          2 slices, buttered and grilled

Land O Lakes light butter w/ canola oil        1 tablespoon

Thousand Island Dressing                           1 tablespoon

Corned beef, deli                                         2 oz

Sauerkraut                                                  4 tablespoons (or whatever you can get to fit)

Swiss Cheese                                             1 ounce slice

Nutrition Facts:

Calories: 482

Fat: 32.7

Carbs: 26.3

Fiber: 6

Protein: 21.3

Accidental Humility

I wrote this back in December. It's been hiding in my notebook since then. I have been reluctant to publish it because it doesn't shed a very favorable light on me. I have wrestled with it for a month or so and decided, so what - life happens. My perspective has been altered because of it. Maybe someone elses will be too.

I don't think I had road rage. I had road entitlement. I was frequently exasperated by people but I was also friendly, saying things like, "thanks guy!" and waving if someone let me in. I still continually judge driving ability - like the people - I saw one just today who swerve to exit the interstate at the last minute scarcely missing the short poles that mark the exit. As if the risk of that is worth it when you can just go to the next exit and turn around or go the long way through town. 

My road entitlement first became evident in the mid-90's. Even then I was trying to keep it at bay. One day, a driver in front of me did something I can't even remember and all I did was sigh heavily. Alex, then about 4 years-old, said, "That guy's an idiot, right Mom?" He'd heard that somewhere before. I know. I'm sure the Mother of Year Award went to me that year.

In early 2013, I was explaining to Rich how when particular drivers (in construction or on one particular overpass I take to work) speed to the front of the closed lane and then put on a blinker, it really drives me crazy. My reasoning was that they have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and think what they're going to do is more important that what the rest of us, who have been patiently waiting in line, have to do. He looked at me, puzzled, and said, "I don't think it's that. I think they're just going about their day, worried about what they have to get done at home and work." He's often right about these things.

My accidental humility came, as I said, in early December when I was a tish late for a hair appointment. I was waiting to turn right out of my neighborhood. A car was coming in the right lane of the four lane highway. No one was in the left lane. After she passed by and it was clear for me to pull out, she changed to the left lane. I irritatedly thought to myself (and may have actually said out loud), "Now you change lanes!"

As I got closer to her, I saw that she had the Nebraska license plate with one star that read, "Fallen Hero," then, on a yellow ribbon I recognized Matthew's name - a fallen hero from the war in Iraq who has a street in our town named for him...

This as I was listening to Josh Groban's Christmas CD, "Truly he taught us to love one another..." I had let my tendency to rush cause me to be irritated by a few seconds delay without thinking of the real human in that vehicle: a mother who has experienced unfathomable grief and given the greatest sacrifice.

This made me wonder - how many other people with less obvious pain I've been irritated with for no reason? There was a lesson here for me - and maybe for all of us - that we get out of our own heads and consider that other people may actually have more important things going on than being late for a haircut...or simply that a few seconds either way doesn't matter.

It's one of the reasons New Year's Resolution #15 is so important to me: I will carry courage, compassion (including self-compassion) and connection with me in my heart on the journey of this one life...even when things get scary (or frustrating).

Who knows, it's possible the person in that other vehicle is carrying precious cargo like this:

Baby Unicorns and Friday Nights

The title of this blog post will only make sense after you’ve seen the video below. It will leave you chuckling for days. You’ll have to listen again…and again…

I’m often late to discover things. TED talks started in 1984. They’ve been on the web since 2007. My husband and oldest son knew about them – or so they told me when I so exuberantly came to enlighten them with my find early last year! The first one I listened to was Brene Brown, who I’ve posted here before. Another one that really moved me is this one by Shawn Achor. I’ve posted it on Facebook a couple of times (cause I really, really, really like him…but not in a stalker-ish or otherwise awkward way at all). His talk is pertinent now because it’s where I got four of my New Year’s Resolutions (the fifth one I already do).

The reason these people are so impressive to me is that they are researchers. They aren’t warm and fuzzy self-help gurus pitching their next of 200 books. They do write…but in moderation…and they’re smart, dedicated, conscientious, socially responsible people. They’re people I want to know and be. And they’re hilarious, which makes listening to them even more fun. Rich and I attended TEDx Omaha this fall. Look for one in your city. They’re inspiring, moving and fun – a day well spent.  They’ll make you an even better person than you are right now. Promise.

Happy New...Everything!

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford

Failure has never been a good time for me. I've not seen the opportunity, only all that  work now down the drain. I wish I could say I've evolved past that but I haven't.

I spent most of 2013 absorbed in my family and work. I rarely put myself first and it shows. I have some fantastic excuses for ignoring myself: the boys are living with us while they get back on their feet - Adam after the Army and Alex after becoming a father July 9, 2013. His baby is Abigail (Abby) August Enerson. She is beautiful, happy, thriving and adored - as every baby should be. She is also another little member of the family who requires time and attention. Allison's activity schedule can sometimes be completely out of control. Then there's time to eke out to spend with Rich. All of this before the full-time job that takes so much time and attention away from me and all of  them.

The piece I'm missing is what the airlines tell us to do in case of an emergency when we fly: place the oxygen masks on yourself first. We're all better able to function in all of our roles if we've first taken care of our needs, at minimum, for exercise, good food and sleep.

So, last week-end, I asked the trainer I've been with for almost three years if I should quit, citing the fact that I've been struggling for the last year. During the return phone call he said, "You know, you're kind of like that kid in college who does okay for a couple of semesters and then blows a semester and has to take time off because he's on academic probation." My instinct was to fire back with "you're not the boss of me!"  Then, he told me I just need to decide to do what works - to decide to do it right. I know he's right because I've decided before. But inside I want to call him a stupid jerkface and give him my signature scowl. This is the 5 year-old in me who wants something magical and maybe princess-y to happen that will make this not my problem anymore.

He is able to talk me off the ledge (of the pricess castle)...with how it takes time to get this right after so many years of doing it wrong. How it's easy, normal even, to revert back to old habits when you're not paying attention...

So, in 2014, I resolve (decide) to:

1. Eat my allotted calories for the day and no more.
2. Exercise with measurable improvement daily.
3. Drink 8 glasses of water/day.
4. Learn how to do yoga and meditate.
5. Journal one happy memory daily.
6. Perform random acts of kindness daily.
7. Sleep 7-8 hours per night.
8. Spend more time being creative: write, draw, craft, cook and photograph.
9. Organize as a hobby: one room at a time, weekly meals, finances, work office, photo albums.
10. Make and keep preventative medical and dental appointments.
11. Spend more time looking at the people I love with my undivided attention.
12. Elicit the help of others when I feel like I'm on overload.
13. List 3 new things I'm grateful for every day.
14. Reward myself for small goals I've achieved in order to keep the momentum going.
15. And, the personal mantra I developed in the class I just took: I will carry courage, compassion (including self-compassion) and connection with me in my heart on the journey of this one life...even when things get scary.


Happy New Year 2014. Off we go!

I Check Out

This isn’t the first time. I’ve done it before. I suppose everyone does to an extent. When my brain and body detect danger and feel that to-the-core fear (you know the one), I check out of all non-vital activities in my life.

This happened in some form or another:

·         Those first weeks after I found out my first husband was having an affair

·         When Rich had brain surgery

·         When my sister was critically ill and pregnant

·         When Adam deployed to Afghanistan and most recently;

·         This last week, when Allison was sick then hospitalized with a rare and bizarre but non-life threatening illness

This checking out is the flight, fight or freeze response in slow motion. A conscious decision on my part to compartmentalize what I can and cannot (will or will not) manage. Some of it is healthy: I couldn’t reasonably work while my daughter was hospitalized and postponing email and mail for a week can be a good practice every now and again.

What I’ve learned is that shutting down or checking out of healthy habits (eating well, exercise and getting good sleep) doesn’t make any of it easier. In fact, it probably makes it more difficult because there’s this big mountain of electronic and actual “paperwork” awaiting my emergence. I feel sluggish and foggy. I contemplated cancelling the trip I’ve planned to the New England states with my sister and parents. We leave next weekend and it felt too soon. I was allowing myself to continue to see the world through the lens of fear and exhaustion – anticipating everything that would go wrong at home in my absence.

Today, I start accurately recording my food intake again. I start exercising with a vengeance. I will get through all the mail, pay bills and even plan some excursions in the New England states for next week. Tomorrow work resumes. The next day, I will feel so much better – healthy and full of energy. Rather than anticipating any catastrophes, I will take my own advice and give love, choose joy and practice gratitude.

From: Yourlifeyourway.net

 

 

My Favorite Summer Food

Next to watermelon BLT's are, hands down, my favorite summer food. There's something so clean-tasting about them and when the tomatoes are bursting with flavor they can't be beat. It's easy to package the ingredients in baggies and take them to work. You'll have the lunch that's the envy of everyone!

The BLT below is made on Udi's Omega Flax and Fiber bread, so the meal, with some fruit added has plenty of fiber. I don't count the two slices of tomato or the two leaves of lettuce, but here's the calorie count for the bread, 1 tbsp. mayo and two slices of bacon:

Calories: 300
Fat: 15.5
Carbohydrates: 24
Fiber: 6
Protein: 10

Enjoy!

 

The Zone

Every once in awhile, I need a change in perspective; typically it’s when I’m feeling overwhelmed with the busy-ness of life and prioritizing everyone else’s needs above my own. This time overwhelm has reared its ugly head because of a temporary houseful of big kids and the chaos that inevitably follows them, a beautiful new grandchild, my own back injury and the return of the sometimes frenetic Fall school schedule. I have learned, through the years, that I’m pretty horrible at delegating anything. I don’t use the word “no” often enough.

A change in perspective comes after some rest and after I’ve set some boundaries, delegated a few things, and claimed some time for myself. After all that, my perspective alters, and I can see that everything on the list above has been a gift.

Allison struggles with perspective mostly at night when she’s afraid of things that go “bump,” imaginary eyes peaking out of an open closet, or an impending nightmare. At these times, I have no problem explaining to her that she’s in control of her own thoughts; that she gets to decide what goes on in her own mind. I make it sound so easy.

I’ve been in The Zone before, when the whole world feels not only bearable, but joyful and radiant and just as it should be. It’s not a matter of all things having gone right or “my way” during that time. It was just a matter of perspective; of keeping my eye on what’s really important. The recipe is and always has been there. I just need to follow it:

• Eat well.
• Exercise daily.
• Sleep 7-8 hours/night.
• Set appropriate boundaries so all of the above can take place.
• Practice gratitude (at least) daily.
• Incorporate fun into everyday life.
• Don’t take myself too seriously.

Along with these things, I’d like to incorporate meditation. I’ve tried it a couple of times but so far I’m terrible at it. The directions I’ve read say to start by focusing on the space between your thoughts and make those spaces bigger. The spaces between my racing thoughts are squished together and I haven’t been able to get in there yet, at least not long enough to make it meaningful. How great does just 10 minutes of quiet time in the early morning sound – maybe while watching the sunrise? All the better if it makes the rest of my day pass more calmly and smoothly.

If you’re a fan of Pearl Jam, like I am – you can try an exercise in change of perspective with their song Yellow Ledbetter. First, listen to a YouTube version of it below and try to hear every word (it’s long, so you don’t have to listen to it all). Okay…go!

Listening for the words to this one stresses me out!

Now, listen to it without the expectation of words, as though he’s using laryngealisation like Enya or someone similar…

Isn’t it so much better?

I find that so useful because it shows how quickly perspective can be changed. The bottom line, for me, is I have to remember that I have this one life. I can choose to be stressed-out, angry, short-tempered, and judgy or I can choose to be the person I want to be. I want to be someone who’s calm, with warm, welcoming eyes and a smile to match, loving, forgiving and empathetic, someone who lives, as Brene Brown puts it “Wholeheartedly.” Someone I’d like to spend some quality time with.

The choice seems pretty simple: I’m changing my perspective and getting in The Zone today. You?

 

Unknown Requisites

Your fund of knowledge expands when you raise kids or spend time around kids you love. Through learning about them, you end up learning a lot about yourself. You grow together. All of this over all of these years and I didn’t know homemade pizza was a requisite for Preseason Sunday Football. I was informed of such 2 days ago by my 23 year-old son, Alex.

So, Allison and I made homemade pizza last night. I know it was Saturday but here’s the thing: on week-ends I cook breakfast and dinner. Period. There are enough left-over’s or deli meat and cheese and fruit for everyone to forage for one meal a day themselves. Preseason Football apparently starts in the afternoon on Sunday, so it would NOT be okay to have to wait for the evening meal for the requisite pizza! It’s amazing reheated anyway…

I love this recipe for a few reasons. First, it’s the easiest and best pizza dough I’ve ever made, just stir the ingredients together, let the dough raise for 30 minutes and spread it out in the pans. Second, the recipe is from my Aunt Lori and was emailed to me by my Mom titled “Lori’s Pizza Crust Recipe” and it includes my Cousin Shawn’s address from a couple of moves ago. I get to think of all of them and smile every time I make pizza!

The first picture below is how we make our stuffed crust. After you’ve sprayed your fingers with cooking spray, spread the dough out in the pan – leaving more dough along the edge than you normally would. Then line the edge with string cheese and push them back into the dough and fold the extra dough over the top, sealing the dough that comes over the cheese to the dough on the bottom of the pan. It works out great – 10 string cheeses per pan.

I haven’t done the calorie count for this as I can’t eat it anyway. It’s one of the things I miss most about not being able to eat gluten. I have not missed it enough to try it with gluten-free flour, though.

 

Aunt Lori’s Pizza Crust Recipe

2 pkg of yeast dissolved in 1 cup hot water

1 tsp salt

2 tbsp oil

1 tbsp sugar

2 cups flour

Mix and cover with a cloth & let rise for 30 minutes

Grease pan (and fingers). Press dough into large cookie sheet (or smaller if you want thicker crust).

Add sauce and favorite toppings.

Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes.  If you like your cheese crispy, finish with 1 minute under the broiler.

The second picture is of the actual pizzas (one pizza crust recipe per pizza). The left one is Rich and Allison’s favorite: pepperoni and ham. The one on the right is the boys’ favorite: meat lovers with Italian sausage, hamburger, pepperoni and ham. I’ve also made veggie and supreme.

Your family and friends will be excited about this pizza! And if you want to learn more about what you don't know, just ask a kid in your life...

 

 

Peas in a Pod

She makes them belly laugh and shake their heads. She adores each of them. So much for worry…again.

When I found out I was pregnant with Allison, everyone I knew (me included) was a bit stunned; no one moreso than her big brothers. Alex says, “When you told me, I think I sharted,” spoken like a true 14 year-old! Her big sister was the only person not in shock – she was thrilled from the get-go.

My worry was about how these siblings would relate to one another. Would they even know each other? All of the big kids would be out of the house by the time Allison was four years old. She was three when Adam joined the Army. My sister, Kristi, and her family came to visit right around that time to help us move into our new home. When they left, Allison was staring forlornly out the patio door. She asked if her cousins, Payton and Mitchell, had to go to the Army, too. Suddenly, everyone who left us for an extended period was going to the Army.

Like siblings who are closer in age, I still yell about fighting in the back seat of the car. I encourage fair play and I advocate for the younger one getting to go along sometimes. But, for the most part, the big kids and their friends include her. She goes golfing (miniature and driving range), they watch movies with her, teach her how to play video games, play hide and seek and shoot off fireworks with her. They handle (sometimes even appropriately) discussions about how to deal with bullies…they encourage her to ride her bike without training wheels…to try again when she’s discouraged about missing a baseball with her bat again and again.

At dinner, when the big kids are telling some animated story or another, they will use watered-down versions of bad language because of her presence – like “crap” or “shoot.” Allison will still put on my Mom-voice and exclaim, “Adam! Language.” Which just cracks everyone up… Of course, there are other times, when they don’t think she’s listening and absorbing everything they say, that they use actual bad language. This has resulted in some uncomfortable conversations for her Mom and Dad with both the bus driver and the Principal!

It’s been yet another lesson in life that everything works out as it’s intended. They are brothers and sisters, regardless of their ages, in a patchwork family Rich and I were lucky enough to bring together. They have taught me as much about love, adoration and loyalty as I had intended to share with them. It warms a mother's heart.

Brene Brown - TED Talks - The Power of Vulnerability

It doesn't happen very often but it's impressive when it does. This video changed my life. I've probably heard things like it before but I've never heard the research that lead up to the conclusions. The research was validating for me - the delivery is great. I hope it affects you like it did me. I hope it catches on like wildfire. I hope it changes the world:

No One Can Do Everything

The last month has been all about imbalance. The beginning of summer was weighted heavy with travel – first to the farm, then to my father-in-law’s in Florida. These trips were followed directly by a week-long conference for work and a quick overnight trek to Kansas City. Whew! Each of these trips and even the conference were wonderful and fun and filled with experiences I treasure. Their close proximity caused work and home responsibilities to pile up to an overwhelming level. I’m still not caught up. Overwhelm quickly caught me off balance and exhaustion followed soon after.

In the midst of a busy-ness, worrying, micro-controlling, perfectionism storm, ironically, nothing is perfect. I don’t know about you, but when I allow overwhelm and exhaustion to run rampant, I start to get a little anxious. I’m “busy” all the time but actually accomplish very little. It’s been a vicious cycle this month that’s lead to overeating, inconsistent exercise, and neglect of my priorities (including this blog).

That changed this week with a couple of experiences that stopped me in my tracks. First, I slowed down and did a little reading. The following excerpt is from Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly:

            I [historically don’t] “lean into discomfort,” so over time I basically became a

take-the-edge-off-aholic. But they don’t have meetings for that. And after

some brief experimenting, I learned that describing your addiction that way

in a tradition twelve-step meeting doesn’t always go over very well with the purists.

               

For me, it wasn’t just the dance halls, cold beer, and Marlboro Lights of my

youth that got out of hand – it was banana bread, chips and queso, email, work,

staying busy, incessant worrying, planning, perfectionism, and anything else that

could dull those agonizing and anxiety-fueled feelings of vulnerability.

I didn’t even give her permission to talk about me in this book. She did get a few things wrong because the dance halls, beer and cigarettes have never applied to me and I really prefer chocolate over any other guilty vice. But, I use ALL of those things after the food list to dull any feeling that gets too edgy.

The second experience was a conference call with Tony at the FAST Diet – he has these periodically. On this call he told a story about a successful business man who ran many companies. This man told him that his secret to a successful, balanced life was prioritizing the things that are important to him every day. His point was that no one can do everything...though many of us are still trying. He does things like review his schedule for the next day and block out time for those things that are important to him – like exercise or a dinner with his wife. Then, he does these things without fail. He doesn’t allow other people’s priorities to hone in on his own. He makes no excuses, he sets boundaries, he turns off his phone and does what he’s chosen to with all of his energy.

Lastly, my daughter, who was born with this same incessant perfectionism started to run with me this week. She is so self-critical – down-trodden if she doesn’t perform (at anything) to her own ridiculously high expectations. So, I took some time to read ahead in Daring Greatly to the parenting advice for helping children live wholeheartedly. I told her about what perfectionism is and how having goals is great but that no one is perfect and that she is loved because she’s Allison not because of anything she does. Period. My hope is that she’s not 45 years old and still figuring this stuff out but that when she’s 45 years old (or 15 or 25 years old) she’ll be living all-the-way. That she’ll leave worry and perfectionism behind, cultivate great relationships, take the time to do what she loves and have a healthy work life that allows her to do what really moves her – whatever that may be. I wish this for all of my children. I wish this for me. And for you.

This is day three back on track – I feel better already. I have a to-do list that’s still going on in my head. I’ll get that down on paper today. Not because I want to get it all done right away – I just want it out of my head. Our summer is already half over, so along with doing all the things that make me physically fit, my priority is to concentrate on those things that bring balance to my life:

• watch the sun rise and set
• find a great fireworks show to attend
• read
• work in my garden
• hike
• slow down and do nothing
• shut off my phone if I really don't want to be interrupted
• avoid electronics a bit
• immerse myself in summer
• look into the faces of my family and smile
• give love
• choose joy
• practice gratitude

A summer sunset right outside my front door

Healing is a Listening Art

Healing is a listening art. Whether you are a healer caring for patients or someone interested in healing yourself, you must first listen. Patients will tell you what's wrong with them if you ask the right questions...and then listen to them. Your body will tell you what it needs, too...if you pay attention and listen. In order to listen, you must be quiet, attentive and open to hearing some disappointing truths.

A couple of days ago, I sent a text to my sister, "My period makes me want to eat peanut M&Ms in direct proportion to my body weight." (probably TMI for my sister, too) Just for the record, that would be alot of freakin' M&Ms. I didn't eat that many, but I ate plenty. Yes, after 24 days without chocolate, I did THAT. I have to work on a strategy for next time.

When I woke up the next day, I had an all-too-familiar pain in my back, right between my shoulder blades. I tried to go through everything I might have done to cause it. I hadn't done anything out the ordinary...except eat alot of peanut M&Ms. So, I Googled "back pain and sugar" and came up with a theory from Applied Kinesiology claiming to have discovered decades ago that the Latisimus Dorsi muscle is related to the pancreas (where insulin is secreted to store or use sugar). When our pancreas is stressed (overloaded), these muscles go weak on both sides, causing abnormal pulling in the midback.

I have no doubt it’s true. I’ve had this happen again and again over the years – this pain in my back. I’d never quit sugar long enough at a time to definitively pinpoint it as the culprit. I know it is now and now that I know – sure, it’s disappointing, but it’s also illuminating; a concrete cause and effect example of how certain foods affect my body.

By actively listening to my body, I know I cannot eat gluten, I can only tolerate 1-2 servings of dairy daily, and I have yet to see how much chocolate/sugar my back will allow me to consume. Since this all started, it’s made me wonder how sick we’re all making ourselves – not just our guts but our entire bodies – with the things we’re choosing to put in them. And I’ve learned that just because something is labeled as “food” doesn’t mean we should eat it.

If something’s not quite right, try healing yourself. Take a good long listen. Write things down. What’s your body trying to tell you?

Photo courtesy of: Atlantic.org