Grave Injustices

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

In the days following 9/11, I only left the television to sleep and go to work. The stories of the terrorists – the insidious way they entered the country and took flying lessons enraged me. Their actions on that day paralyzed me. I’d never known unspeakable fear. I’d never been terrorized.

Then came the memorials and the stories of heroism, the real faces of all of those victims and their devastated families. It was all too much. It felt disrespectful to quit watching and listening…to go on with our lives.

Not long after that – in April of the next year, my favorite newsman of all time – David Bloom – died of a pulmonary embolism while covering the war in Iraq. This was back when I regularly watched the news. They played the song “Could We Start Again, Please” from the Broadway Show Jesus Christ Superstar at his memorial. I downloaded that song and played it again and again…it made me sob. I was really feeling this as if he was my husband or father – or at the very least a close friend. I was merely a fan of his work.

What I have learned in the years since and through the tragedies since is that our brains and bodies respond to those things we watch and hear as if they are actually happening to us…if we let them. That’s a lot to put a mind and body through again and again. Empathy and compassion are good things, but back in 2001 and 2002 – when I was dealing with these tragedies as well as my own personal crisis in Rich’s brain surgery – I started to feel too fragile to exist in this world.

When the unthinkable happens, like the Sandy Hook school shooting or the Boston Marathon Bombing, I’m still enraged, hurt and scared. But I’m not paralyzed. I don’t sit and watch news coverage. I take small bits as I can – usually in print. I try to focus on what I wished the world looked like. I’m not talking Polly Anna or rose-colored glasses – I’m just talking about a world in which we’re not terrorized. These horrifying acts occurred because of hatred. I want nothing to do with hatred so I don’t let the rage go too far. I choose to trust in the justice system. I want to be part of the solution – not part of the problem. Anyone spewing hate in conversation: online, in person or on television - must be conscious of his or her audience and be willing to take responsibility for their message. Who will be called to violent action by the words of that conversation?

Terror for me means feeling afraid to gather in large groups because someone who hates Americans or hates the government feels they need to make a “statement” by taking the lives of innocent people. Terror for me means sending our sons and daughters in the military to fight and die in one country when al qaeda is everywhere.  It means experiencing fear sending my child to school because some lunatic might be lurking…planning…attacking. Raising a child in a world where there are armed teachers or schools with armed guards is a form of terrorism for me, too. It makes me cringe.

Instead of giving in to the rage, hatred and terror, I volunteer for the Medical Reserve Corp in our community, to give what help I can here and to be that change I wish to see in the world. I pray – over and over again. I hold those dear to me just a bit closer. I try to show simple human kindness to my fellow man. All of this won’t stop those grave injustices from happening, but if we all went a little bit further, if we all rejected hate – our world just might become a better place in which to exist. 

Be the change that stops the cycle of violence...