Happy New...Everything!

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford

Failure has never been a good time for me. I've not seen the opportunity, only all that  work now down the drain. I wish I could say I've evolved past that but I haven't.

I spent most of 2013 absorbed in my family and work. I rarely put myself first and it shows. I have some fantastic excuses for ignoring myself: the boys are living with us while they get back on their feet - Adam after the Army and Alex after becoming a father July 9, 2013. His baby is Abigail (Abby) August Enerson. She is beautiful, happy, thriving and adored - as every baby should be. She is also another little member of the family who requires time and attention. Allison's activity schedule can sometimes be completely out of control. Then there's time to eke out to spend with Rich. All of this before the full-time job that takes so much time and attention away from me and all of  them.

The piece I'm missing is what the airlines tell us to do in case of an emergency when we fly: place the oxygen masks on yourself first. We're all better able to function in all of our roles if we've first taken care of our needs, at minimum, for exercise, good food and sleep.

So, last week-end, I asked the trainer I've been with for almost three years if I should quit, citing the fact that I've been struggling for the last year. During the return phone call he said, "You know, you're kind of like that kid in college who does okay for a couple of semesters and then blows a semester and has to take time off because he's on academic probation." My instinct was to fire back with "you're not the boss of me!"  Then, he told me I just need to decide to do what works - to decide to do it right. I know he's right because I've decided before. But inside I want to call him a stupid jerkface and give him my signature scowl. This is the 5 year-old in me who wants something magical and maybe princess-y to happen that will make this not my problem anymore.

He is able to talk me off the ledge (of the pricess castle)...with how it takes time to get this right after so many years of doing it wrong. How it's easy, normal even, to revert back to old habits when you're not paying attention...

So, in 2014, I resolve (decide) to:

1. Eat my allotted calories for the day and no more.
2. Exercise with measurable improvement daily.
3. Drink 8 glasses of water/day.
4. Learn how to do yoga and meditate.
5. Journal one happy memory daily.
6. Perform random acts of kindness daily.
7. Sleep 7-8 hours per night.
8. Spend more time being creative: write, draw, craft, cook and photograph.
9. Organize as a hobby: one room at a time, weekly meals, finances, work office, photo albums.
10. Make and keep preventative medical and dental appointments.
11. Spend more time looking at the people I love with my undivided attention.
12. Elicit the help of others when I feel like I'm on overload.
13. List 3 new things I'm grateful for every day.
14. Reward myself for small goals I've achieved in order to keep the momentum going.
15. And, the personal mantra I developed in the class I just took: I will carry courage, compassion (including self-compassion) and connection with me in my heart on the journey of this one life...even when things get scary.


Happy New Year 2014. Off we go!