This is Your Life...

It seems like just last week I wrote about turning 45. It wasn’t…it was a whole year ago and here I am – 46. Life is speeding by at a breakneck pace and I have so much I want to do, personally and professionally. Heck, I don’t know if I have enough time left (even if I live another half-century) to read all the books on my list!

I can’t help but think that part of the reason life flies by so fast is that I’m spending so much time worrying about what’s coming next, planning for this or that, and preparing for the other shoe to drop. Experts estimate that 85% of those things we worry about never happen. I’m wasting a lot of time.

This need to slow down and enjoy life a little more, is the reason for these particular New Year’s resolutions of mine:

#4. Learn how to do yoga and meditate

Last year I wrote about my love of running and the prospect of running my first half-marathon at 45…that was the last race I completed - February 2013. I still love running but there hasn’t been much of it for the last 6 months, since I slipped and fell on wet concrete stairs. Instead my time has been taken up visiting a chiropractor and working out on the gentler elliptical machine. There will be running again. In fact, Allison starts the Girls on the Run program in March and we plan to run a couple of races together this summer. Running is hard but the benefits of it, which spill over into all other areas of my life, outweigh my whininess and in the end, I love it for what it does for me.

Unfortunately, I now have the tailbone injury added to a tendency toward tendonitis, plantar faciitis and almost every other musculoskeletal-itis there is. My hope is that yoga will replace the chiropractor by keeping my muscles long and more flexible and my body properly aligned. I’m in the process of finding a great place to go that fits in my schedule. I’d like to take a private class…we’ll see what I find. Eventually, I’d prefer to do it at home but I know I need some instruction first.

I’ve tried meditating before. It’s a little like trying to read right beside a NASCAR track. My mind is the NASCAR track and every thought is a different car. It can get a little discouraging. The instructions I’ve read say to start slowly with just a minute or two and don’t fight the thoughts, just try to lengthen spaces between the thoughts. I will certainly try with the goal of slowing the racing thoughts, creating space to breathe, to relax and face the day open and calm.

To that end, this article by Lissa Rankin, MD really struck a chord with me. Grace, I guess, is what I’m striving for in all of my relationships; a way to be less reactive and look at the perspective of others; especially those closest to me. I’m practicing offering grace…and space to my adult children, in particular, to let them succeed or fail on their own and live lives entirely of their choosing.

Lissa Rankin's 10 tips for receiving criticism with grace

#8. Spend more time being creative: write, draw, craft, cook and photograph

Brene Brown says that if we stifle creativity, it doesn’t just go away. Unused creativity expresses itself in anxiety, tension and uneasiness. This is astonishing to me! I’m often so busy with my lists of things to get done that I feel like I’m wasting time if I sit down to read or write…let alone craft or photograph. Cooking is something I do anyway and finding new recipes is always fun for me. I’m excited to play more and use more of my time to be creative this year.

#11. Spend more time looking at the people I love with my undivided attention

“The eyes are the window to the soul.” – William Shakespeare

Is there anything better than really connecting with those we love? Connecting on Facebook has been so much fun for me. I love seeing pictures of family and friends and their children and grandchildren as well as reading interesting articles. I also have quite of few games of Words with Friends going. But, it’s time for me to put the phone or tablet down when it’s interfering with communication and connection that’s happening right in front of me.

I’m hoping to seal more memories in my mind and slow time down a bit by focusing on the moment, the loved one, the conversation – by making eye contact, then and there. Whether I’m putting Abby to sleep, or discussing any of the kids’ days, or having a conversation with Rich, I will pay attention in that moment – not worrying about what needs to be done next or what’s going on in the electronic world.

I try to keep Switchfoot’s lyric, “This is your life, are you who you want to be?” foremost in my mind as I decide what changes to make and what things to leave in place; when to say “no” and when to shout “yes!” I hope, in so doing, that this year of being 46-years-old will bring with it a life more tailored to me and those I love the most.