My Life in the 'Hoods

Every parent has had more than their share of advice about how to handle tantrums. The advice ranges from “pick them up and remove them” to “ignore them.” It’s possible to pick them up. But, if you’re going to attempt this, it helps if you’ve had experience lifting flailing, 8-legged, baby giraffes. You can also ignore them…if you have a blindfold and headphones with loud music playing. Now, after all of my kids are through the tantrum stage, I realize, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. They are going through a developmental stage where they don’t have the words to express their frustration so they have to express themselves physically and emotionally. It doesn’t matter what you do. In most kids, tantrums will happen until they don’t anymore. 

What I need your help with is what happens when tantrums recur? Say, for example, in your mid-forties? I was going to change names to protect the innocent but I thought you’d figure it out anyway. I have been through my share of life crises. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m all business and “what do we have to do to get this fixed” when a crisis presents itself. It’s the times when I’m tired and/or sick or just need a vacation from the ‘hoods – adulthood, parenthood, nursehood, and wifehood – that the tantrums flare.

That’s my first tantrum: Did anyone ever tell me that you don’t GET a vacation from the ‘hoods once you’re in them? Not that that would have changed any of my life decisions, but I would’ve had a different mindset, like, “We’re goin’ in folks!” head down, jaw set, better prepared. As it is, there are times when I’m a little wide-eyed and bewildered. Still.

I just recently identified these as tantrums. Previously I would’ve said I was being grouchy or bitchy. But, I’m not a grouchy or bitchy person. These tantrums last just minutes and then I’m back to my normal, fun self (just ask me). These are some examples of tantrums I’ve had over the last 6 months:

• “I don’t want to do math (add calories) before I eat dinner!”
• “I don’t want to exercise today!”
• "This <insert expletive> dog chews EVERYTHING!”
• “I’m tired.”
• “Why is the cat puking…AGAIN?!”
• “Why are there dishes downstairs? Are we waiting for the dishes fairy?”

I don’t get a lot of help with these tantrums from my husband or children. They steer clear…remain silent…stare straight-ahead…and don’t make eye contact. They’re a smart bunch.

Keep in mind – I made the choice and I PAY to have the accountability of counting my calories and exercising daily. We paid (too much) for the dog who chews everything. We elected to have a cat.  I would not change a thing about my career choice, my delightful husband or my beautiful children.

My issue is just these ‘moments’ in time where I seem to snap a bit. Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon? I could use some suggestions. My family implores you. Please advise.

I can't stay mad at this face.

Zsuga the Puli, Christmas 2012